


The Hope That Follows

by JulyFalconeri



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Sex, BDSM, Bondage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marking, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mental Health Issues, Mpreg, Multiple Personalities, Non-Consensual Violence, Oil Gland Kink, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Sexual Violence, Slavery, Wing Kink, angels as pets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2017-12-06 05:49:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 29,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JulyFalconeri/pseuds/JulyFalconeri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where angels are slaves, Castiel and Gabriel are captured and sold to the abusive slave owner Crowley. Gabriel tries his best to protect his younger brother, but nothing can stop Crowley when his mind is set on something.</p><p>Sam and Dean are the next door neighbors. Sam; a sweet angel specialist at a Chicago hospital, and his brother Dean, a nurse and caregiver to young angels. </p><p>It's only fate that brings the two pairs together. But can Castiel and Gabriel survive Crowley's abuse? And can Sam and Dean save them before it's to late?</p><p>Ask blog for this fic here: http://thehopethatfollows.tumblr.com<br/>Playlist of songs for this fic at: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLKCYzwntHrFK3c4HDhnmF_dE1w63QrKqX</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The End

**Author's Note:**

> 9/19/14 - I have edited and added to the first ten chapters. The additions to the chapters are minimal and will not change the story, but I have changed the fact that Crowley had MPD, to an unnamed mental disorder of the same symptoms as originally described. I made this change because because of a few comments I received and I decided it would be best to change it.

“It’s okay. Shh, calm down. It’s going to be okay. I’m going to be there with you the whole time,” Gabriel said in Enochian, holding a sobbing Castiel in his lap. Gabe looked around the small, locked room they were being kept in, his eyes trained on the door waiting for their new owner to walk in. Gabriel hadn’t gotten a really good look at him, but he knew he was a bit older than himself, and a lot older than Castiel. He was obviously rich, considering the price he had bought them for, but that was about all he knew. 

He had no idea if the man was going to be nice, an abuser, or even a rapist. Gabriel wasn’t worried about himself, he could hold his own, he was worried about twelve year old Castiel. His poor brother hadn’t stopped sobbing since they got to the auction house. Gabe couldn’t blame him. 

“G-Gabe, what if he cuts our vocal cords? I’m scared,” Castiel sobbed, also in Enochian. Poor Cas had only been on Earth for about six months and knew almost no English besides ‘no’ and his brother’s name. So they spoke in Enochian. 

“If he does there’s nothing we can do about it, but I’ll be right there with you. We go through it all together, okay?” 

Castiel nodded grabbing Gabe’s shirt tighter. Of course, Gabe was just as worried about having his vocal cords cut or worse, but he would never tell Castiel that. He slowly turned Castiel’s collar around on his neck, the one carved with Enochian sigils to keep them powerless. There was the sound of voices outside. Castiel looked towards the door as Gabriel tensed and let his wings flare out. Two people stepped into the room. The auctioneer and their new master. 

Their owner was older, maybe in his late forties, a bit heavier set. His hair was brown, slightly balding. His green, emerald, eyes were in deep contrast to his pale skin, yet somehow complementing. He wore a expensive suit, probably French design. And he held himself like he was king of the world. Gabriel felt sick just looking at him. 

“Here they are. May I just say an excellent choice with buying them. Gabriel is worth the price you paid alone, Castiel is more of a bonus,” The auctioneer said. Gabriel hated the way he talked about them like they were buying groceries. They were living beings, for God’s sake! “Would you like us to clip their wings or cut their vocal cords at all before you take them home today?” The auctioneer asked. 

Gabriel watched the man intensely, analyzing his every move. 

“Maybe, let me get a look at them,” the man finally spoke for the first time, his smooth accent more than likely of European origin, probably British. “Both of you sit of straight. And stop crying.” He snapped. 

“Sit up straight, look towards the floor. Try to stop crying,” Gabe whispered quietly to Cas, sliding Cas off his lap. Gabriel sat up straighter but kept his head down. 

“Speak English, angel,” the man muttered, stepping forward. He placed a hand under Gabe’s chin and forced his head up to look into his eyes. Gabriel gave him a hard stare, refusing to look away or show any weakness.

The man smiled. “I like you.” He muttered before turning to Cas. Cas cried a little harder, sniffling and let out a sob every once and a while. The man did the same thing to Castiel, squinting his eyes a bit. 

“Are you always like this? I can’t even get a good look at you, your face is so red. And will you quit that sobbing?” Of course that only made Castiel cry harder, never having been talked to so roughly. 

Castiel had always been sheltered in Heaven. Gabriel had found him after his fall and had sheltered him until they were caught about two days ago. Even then no one had really talked to him. They were put in collars, they were briefed (thankfully) on what was going to happen at and possibly after the auction, sedated a bit, and then put on stage for auction and bought. Gabriel had never expected on being caught, it really was his fault. He should have known that water was drugged and should have never let Cas go near it. Once you were caught it was almost impossible to escape the auction house or the transportation vans with all the guards around and the Enochian collars on. But Gabriel had tried, and in the end he was up sedated with some weird drug that had effectively put him out. All Gabe had done was leave Castiel startled and alone for a few hours, so he didn’t try it again, for his little brother’s sake. 

“He can’t understand you,” Gabriel said softly. 

“What?” The man said turning towards Gabriel.

“He doesn’t speak English, he can’t understand you.” 

The man pulled away and took a few steps back, nodding slightly. He addressed the auctioneer, but didn’t take his eyes of the angels. “I want both their wings clipped. And…” he dragged the ‘and’ out, keeping the angels nervous. Cas quickly grabbed Gabriel’s hand, terrified. “I want the little one’s cords clipped.” 

Gabriel blanched, bile rising in his throat. Castiel turned towards Gabriel, hands moving nervously. “What did he say?” Castiel asked quietly. Gabriel took Cas’ face gently in his hands, tears swimming in his eyes. Panic was beginning to rise for Castiel. “Gabe what did he say?!” Gabe throat was closed up. He couldn’t tell his baby brother that they wanted to take away his voice. 

“Go on Gabriel, tell him,” the man said, a sick smirk on his face. Gabriel quickly looked away from him and back at his brother.

“They…They want to cut our wings. We can deal with that Cas, no big Deal!” Gabe said when Cas started to panic. He squeezed his shoulders. “Calm down. I still need to tell you the rest.” He took a deep breath, steeling himself. “They want to clip your cords.” 

“No!” Castiel sobbed, grabbing Gabriel and clinging to him. 

Gabriel looked over at their new owner. “Do it to me, too.

The man smiled. “You don’t make the rules angel.” 

Gabriel gripped Castiel tighter. He wasn’t about to have his baby brother mutilated without putting up a fight. 

“Gabe, don’t let them do it, please!” Castiel cried, damn near screamed. 

“Calm down,” Gabe whispered. “I’m going to fight them, if you can get out, you run as fast as you can. Don’t stop. If I make it out, I’ll find you.” 

“You sure that’s what you want Crowley?” 

Crowley. Even his name reeked of evil. “Positive.” 

The auctioneer snapped his fingers and four guards filed into the room. Gabriel moved Castiel off his lap and stood slowly, wings flaring as wide as they could, whole body tense. Crowley gave a wide grin. “A fighter. That I defiantly like. Well boys, I’m going to step outside and let you do your thing.” Crowley said, making his exit. 

“Gabriel, relax, sit. Otherwise we’re going to have to sedate you.”

“Oh yeah, and just let you take my brother, not a chance.”

The auctioneer sighed. “Boys, you know the drill,” he said to the guards and excited the room. Gabriel charged at the first guard, startling him. He got in a good kick to the legs bringing him down to the floor before delivering another hard kick to the head, knocking him out cold. He felt a guard grab either of his wings, pulling them down roughly. He heard a terrible, almost ripping, noise and felt pain shoot threw his whole right wing.  
Gabe screamed at the pain and desperately flapped his right wing, trying to shake them off. He felt the last guard jammed his knee into Gabe’s back, trying to deliver the sedative. 

“Castiel, run!” Gabe yelled. He heard Cas’ tennis shoes hit the floor and then the sound of him running down the hall. He heard the auctioneer call something out and then he heard Cas absolutely shrieking. He was screaming at the top of his lungs and there was sounds of a loud scuffle in the hall. 

Gabriel began to fight the men holding him down with renewed vigor. 

“GABRIEL!” Castiel screamed. 

“CAS!” He felt a hard pinch in the side of his neck. He screamed in frustration, using all the energy he had left to raise his wing and fling one of the guards into the wall. Gabriel was beginning to feel groggy, the world around him becoming fuzzy. 

“It setting in?” He heard one guard ask as his struggles became weaker. 

“Yeah, I think so,” he heard the other reply. Hands untangled themselves from his feathers but didn’t relieve the pain. He listened for noise in the hall but heard nothing. No screaming Cas, which was even worse than if he had been screaming. He failed to get Cas out, now his little brother was going to lose his voice because of him… 

Gabriel tried to catch his breath, which was unrealistically hard. He felt so weak, and there was a terrible pain in his wing, like someone had just cut through his feathers and skin. 

“Dammit, Gregory tore his wing.”

Yeah, that would explain it. 

“Oh damn, that a long fucking tear, that’s going to need a bunch of stitches.”

That was the last thing he heard before the sedatives pulled him under. 

_________________________________________________________________________

He awoke to an uncomfortable pulling sensation on his right wing. He instinctively tried to pull it away. 

“Hold it down at the joint,” he heard a man say quietly. He felt a sudden pressure on his upper back, someone’s cold hands holding his wing down. He was too tired to fight it. Whatever was in those sedatives they created, it was kicking his ass. For a long while he paid all his attention to what they were doing to his wings. They were pulling a few feathers out, probably trying to mend that gash he assumed. He winced at each feather pulled out. The last one he pulled out was particularly painful and he hissed and tried to pull his shoulder up and was confused when he couldn’t. That was when he felt the straps. One on each of his wrists and ankles, on across his back, beneath and below his wings. Three vertical straps holding down his left wing and just one over the tip of his right so they could fix the cut. He felt another particularly painful pull as they removed another feather. He hissed in a breath and jerked a bit. He felt the person holding his wing down push just a bit harder. 

“Okay, that was the last one Gabriel, I’m going to clean the cut now.”

He felt some relief as he felt a cool liquid drip across the cut, the liquid lessening the strong burning sensation of the cut. Then the liquid began to burn and sting, raising in intensity. Gabriel’s eyes flew open at the pain. 

“Owowowowow! Fuck!” He said, trying the hardest he had yet to pull his wing away. Once again the guard holding his wing down increased the pressure he delivered to his shoulder to hold him down.

“Sorry, that stuff really stings. It’ll stop in a few seconds.”

The burning did go down and he finally got a good look at the man working on him. He was young, no older than thirty. He had brown-blond hair and cool blue eyes. He wore a pair of blue surgical gloves and a white lab coat; Adam Milligan printed near the collar. 

“I’m going to put a numbing cream on and start stitching it. I’m going to need you to stay as still as possible,” Adam said. 

“Yeah, whatever you say,” Gabriel said groggily, closing his eyes again. 

Gabe heard a door open on the other side of the room. 

“He awake?” He heard Crowley ask. And like a shit ton of bricks he was hit with another thought. Cas. Where the hell was Cas?! 

“Yeah, just barely though,” Adam said. “Try not to rile him up to much, I can’t really have him moving right now.”

Gabriel turned his head to look at Crowley. 

“Where is my brother?” Gabriel asked less menacing then he had intended. Crowley looked at his watch before sitting down in a chair a few feet away from Gabriel. 

“Almost in surgery to get his cords snipped I would assume.” 

One thing people had to understand about Gabriel was that he was a proud angel. He was an Archangel after all. He never begged or groveled, it just wasn’t something he did. Until now. 

“Please, Crowley please. I am begging you, don’t do this to him. He’s never done anything wrong. He was just scared, he doesn’t usually act like that. Just give him a chance.” 

Crowley leaned in close to Gabriel. “Listen good now. I’m going to break the both of you. And the littlest one will be easiest. I don’t need to hear him begging and whining. But you, you’re an archangel. I want to hear you scream and moan for me when I finally break you.” 

They both gave each other a long stare. 

“That, will never happen.” 

“Oh it will. Believe me Gabriel, I’m not cruel. I’m actually quiet sympathetic, but only if you listen to me and don’t fight it, once you start disobeying me, that’s when I’ll get mean. I hope you both learn that early on. It’ll make it much easier on all of us. 

_________________________________________________________________________

Crowley shoved Gabe into the back off his car. It was too small and there was no comfortable place to put his injured wings. The clipping had hurt worse than having his wings sewn. Unlike birds all his feathers were blood feathers so it hurt like hell and now the bottoms of his cut wings were covered in bandages to stem the blood flow. He was just waiting for Crowley to bring Cas out. They had been at the auction house for over seven hours now and Cas had just gotten out of surgery forty-five minutes before. 

The car door was suddenly jerked open and a sleepy Castiel was pushed into the back of the car with Gabriel. 

“Cas,” Gabe said quietly and pulled him into a hug. After the quick hug he pushed Castiel back a bit to get a look at him. His wings were trimmed like his, and a thick layer of white gauze was wrapped loosely around the base of his throat. 

Gabe looked up at Cas’ sleepy face. Tears were already streaming down his cheeks. His lips were moving, and no sound was coming out. 

Gabe didn’t know how to read lips but he did recognize that Cas was trying to say his name. Cas reached out to him, just wanting to be held. Gabriel, not wanting to deny poor Cas in his most needed time, pulled him close and cradled his head to his chest. 

“It’s okay Cas. Everything’s going to be okay. I love you.”

Gabriel felt his mouth ‘I love you, too.’ Against his new t-shirt that Crowley had so graciously (insert sarcasm) had supplied. 

The front door of the car slammed and causing both boys to startle and looked up towards Crowley. He pulled on a pair of dark shades and looked back at the two miserable angels. 

“Welcome to the first day of the rest of your lives.”


	2. The First Night

_Castiel had been relatively quiet for a few days now,  either  riding on Gabriel’s back from lack of energy and exhaustion, or walking slowly beside him, holding Gabriel’s hand for support.  He knew Castiel was hungry, probably tired and thirsty too. They were cold, the only clothes they both wore were tattered jeans and T-shirts.  The last food they had found was two days ago, a bush full of berries, they had ate almost every one.  Water was a day and a half back, sipping rain from a hollowed out tree stump.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
 _"Gabe,” Cas whispered quietly in Enochian. Gabe looked back towards Cas. He had dark bags under his eyes, little cuts, scrapes, and bruises all throughout his body, and his hands shookd by no fault of his own._  
  
 _“Come here, baby,” Gabe whispered quietly, picking him up under the arms. He placed his arm under Castiel’s bottom and Cas wrapped his skinny arms around Gabriel’s neck._  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Gabe had been carrying a sleeping Castiel for almost an hour now. His arms and legs were sore and shaking, despite how alarmingly light Castiel was.  The sun was setting, casting a golden glow on most of the things around them.  Gabriel seen a bright glint to his right and he quickly looked over.  
                 
It was a small body of water. It couldn’t be more than five feet across either way, but still, it was water, and it was more than enough for him and Castiel.  
                 
“Cas,” Gabe said quietly, shaking him a bit. Castiel raised his head slowly, looking at his brother sleepily. “I found water, baby.”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Sam had watched through the glass door of the clinic where he worked as a young angel slowly approached from out of the trees.  She moved cautiously towards the clinic doors, and it was then that Sam realized she was holding a small bundle tight to her chest.  
                 
She was pale, moving as if she was in pain. Sam wanted to move to the door and help her but he was afraid of startling her. She looked up at him, meeting his eyes for a moment before placing the bundle on the front step and dashing off.  
                 
It wasn't an uncommon occurrence for young angels to leave their babies at the door of The Chicago Clinic for Angels.  The Chicago clinic was one of the only hospital in the world where they actually treated their angels like humans, which most owners didn’t want at all.  
                 
Humans weren't allowed to bring their angels in with shock collars or any other kind of harmful or weakening device placed on them.  They didn’t clip wings or vocal cords. They were more highly known among the still uncaught angels running about the United States.  A lot of angels came to them when they were in labor or hurt by an angel hunter. They had secret rooms in the back to hide them from government official searching for rogue angels.  It was also commonly known  that if an angel brought their babies to the clinic they were almost guaranteed to be placed with a non-violent owner.  
                 
Everyone in the practice knew what they were doing was incredibly illegal, but to them it was well worth it.  Sam quickly crossed the lobby and opened the door, reaching down to pick up the little angel. Sam gently removed the blanket from around him to check for injuries.  The baby boy was quiet, looking up at Sam with big blue eyes.

                 
“Hi baby,” Sam said quietly, smoothing back the feathers on his tiny white wings.  He reached up and wrapped his tiny hand around Sam’s finger. Sam smiled. “How about we get you a bottle?”

                 
Sam moved into the back room and set the baby in one of the hospital bassinets. The angel made a small whimpering sound, reaching his hands up for Sam. “Shh, it’s okay. I’m gonna make you something to eat.”

                 
Sam walked the few feet to the cupboard where they kept the baby bottles and formula. The baby started to cry softly, slightly distressed about being left alone. Sam quickly popped the bottle in the microwave and picked up the little boy again.  He calmed fast after that.

                 
“So what are we going to name you, huh?” Sam asked affectionately holding the baby against his chest.  “Something from one of the angels in the bible maybe? How about Balthazar?”

                 
The baby looked up at him with half lidded eyes.  Sam spoke softly as the placed the bottle against Balthazar’s lips. “Looks like we’re going to give Dean a little surprise tonight. “  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Castiel had tears in his eyes as he and Gabriel were pushed out into Crowley’s backyard, his mouth opened in a silent scream. Gabriel threw his wings out to cover Castiel as the whip came down on them again. The pain of the leather against his injured wing caused him to cry out in pain. Castiel tried to push Gabriel out of the way so he wouldn’t have to endure all of the blows, but the medication from his surgery was still affecting him making him sleepy and weak.

Castiel could see the silent tears running down Gabriel’s face, blood running down his wings and back. With all the strength Castiel had left he managed to knock Gabriel out of the way and get the next blow of the whip.  Castiel seen stars as it hit the tip of this clipped wing. Castiel gasped for breathe and fell to his knees, and then was pulled forward by Gabriel. Gabriel quickly gathered him in his arms, both of them looking up at Crowley.

“What the hell?” Gabriel gasped out breathlessly. “He didn’t do anything. Just…leave him alone, let me take the punishment.”

 “Oh neither of you did anything. I’m just trying to remind you who’s in charge angel,” Crowley said, smirk on his face. Crowley suddenly grabbed Castiel by his collar and dragged him over to a steel pole cemented into the ground. Gabriel followed obediently behind him, not wanting to get hit with the whip again tonight.  Crowley connected Cas’ collar to one of the thick chains at the top of the pole. Then did the same for Gabriel.

“Now, I’ll be back out in the morning to get you. You’ll sleep out here, you’ll be quiet. Trust me, you’re going to want the rest. We start training tomorrow.” And with that, Crowley disappeared back into the house.

Castiel curled up and slowly began to lick at the whip injuries on his wing.  Gabriel laid down and did the same, giving them both some time to calm down. It was silent for a few minutes before he heard Cas hitch in a breathe.  He looked over to see Castiel’s body racking with hard sobs, tears streaming down his face.

“Hey hey hey,” Gabe muttered in Enochian, wrapping himself around Castiel, covering him with his wings. They laid like that for a while, Gabriel whispering quietly to Cas.

“Been a pretty shitty day, huh?” Gabe whispered. Cas nodded. “How is your throat feeling?”  Gabe seen the immediate frustration on his face for not being able to answer.

“Shh, it’s okay. Trace the word into my hand,” Gabe said quietly.

Cas quickly began tracing Enochian symbols into Gabriel’s palm. W-A-T-E-R. Gabriel began looking around for a hose or something. He noticed the pool just off to his right. That was why he could see in the pitch black, the pool lights were casting a low glow over the yard. Gabriel hadn’t really been concerned with checking his surroundings earlier. Gabe pointed over towards the pool.  Castiel quickly got up on his hands and knees and crawled over towards the edge of the pool. He was about a foot from the water when his chain pulled tight, choking him, pressing hard against the incisions on his neck, sending fire threw his neck all the way up to his head.  He quickly pulled back to catch his breath then try again. He was again unable to reach the water and pulled back. Fresh tears streamed down his face.  Castiel clutched at his burning neck with his hand, looking close to throwing up.

“Lie down, let me see if I can get some,” Gabe said, lying Castiel down on the grass. Gabe crawled over towards the pool, finding he could reach fine, still a little slack on the chain. It was then that he realized he had nothing to carry the water in. Nothing but his mouth.

Gabriel quickly looked over towards the house. Crowley was inside watching them from the window, knowing look on his face. Sick fucking bastard. Gabe took a deep breath and sucked in a mouthful of water.  He quickly crawled over to Castiel and sealed his lips around his, slowly letting the water flow into Cas’ mouth.

Crowley smiled wide, looking at the brothers kiss. Their training had only just begun.

 

 


	3. Ray of Hope

The little girl walked up to the edge of Crowley’s yard, admiring the pretty wings on the angels. The little one had fluffy and soft looking white wings,  while the older one had shiny and strong black wings. Both of them had large white bandages around the base feathers. There was what she could only assume was blood in dried patches over their bodies. She gripped the side of the tree she was peering around. She was about to go back into her yard when she stepped on a dead branch. Both angel’s wings flared out in an aggressive manner, both spinning to look at the girl. She gasped and hid back around the tree, a little scared. Gabe quickly brought his wings down with a wince at seeing the scared child. Cas began to back away, and then quickly cowered under the porch.

Gabe smiled at the girl.  “Hi,” he said, keeping his distance, not wanting to startle her more. She slowly peeked around the tree again.

“Hi,” she said quietly, shyly. She knew she was supposed to go in to Mr. McLeod’s yard, but she was just to curious.

“What’s your name?” Gabe asked, laying his wings across his back and lying flat on his stomach, in a more relaxed non-threatening stance.

“Amelia,” she said, finally coming into full view and taking a few steps forward.  
                  
“My name’s Gabe, And that’s my brother Cas,”  Gabe said looking over to the porch.

“Why is he hiding?” she said, sitting down across from Gabriel.  Gabriel had always loved children, being a nurturer and all.   
                  
“You wanna know a secret?” Gabe said, leaning in a bit.   
                  
She nodded. “Yeah.”

“He’s a little bit afraid of you,” Gabe whispered.

She giggled. “Me?”

“Yeah,” He said, laughing a little himself.

Amelia slowly became much more comfortable around Gabriel and laid the same way he was, on her stomach.

“Your wings are pretty. They look hurt,” she said.

“Just a little accident, they don’t hurt much,” Gabriel said, not wanting to frighten her. “Would you like to pet them?”

“Can I?!” She asked excitedly.

“Sure,” Gabe moved out his right wing and stretched it over to Amelia. She reached out tentatively, touching the tip of the closest feather. She slowly pet the tip of the wing while they talked. Gabriel closed his eyes and reveled in the small hands stroking his feathers, loving the feeling of the child’s tentative and gentle touch taking away the smaller pains in his wings.

“Who do you live with?” Gabriel asked.  
               
“I live with my daddy and my uncle. And other angels. But they are so tiny and can’t really talk,” She said.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah! My uncle works with baby angels and he takes a lot of them home until they’re big enough to go to other families,” she said. Gabriel listened to her ramble on about what all the little angels were like. It was nice for Gabriel to just listen to her. She pet his wings through the whole conversation. It was all very therapeutic. He learned her father was also in angelic medicine at the same clinic and that her dad had told her they were going to be adopting one of the baby angels full time soon.

“Who’s your family?” She asked once she was done talking. Gabriel was a little weary of the question, not sure how to answer.

“Well…. My brother Cas is my family. And I have a lot of other family that I haven’t seen in a really long time.”

“What about Mr.McLeod? Is he your family.”

“Well, sort of. Me and Cas didn’t have a place to stay, so he let us stay with him.”

“Why are you chained up?”

Gabriel sighed. It was harsh world they lived in now, a lot harsher than the one Gabriel remembered and treasured most.   
                  
“I…I was….bad. I guess you could say,” Gabriel said, gritting his teeth slightly.

“What did yo-”  
                 
“Gabriel!” Crowley’s harsh yell startled them both. Amelia stood and took a few tentative steps back. Gabriel moved his wings out in a protective position. He slowly moved away from the girl until the tips of his wings touched the iron pole. Crowley gave Gabriel a hard stare. “I’ll deal with you in a minute,” he said in a harsh whisper. Crowley walked over to Amelia then kneeling in front of her.

“I-I’m sorry Mr. McLeod,” Amelia stammered.

Crowley gave her a large smile which made Gabriel’s stomach churn. “It’s okay darling. I see you’ve met Gabriel.”   
                  
“Amelia!” A young man yelled walking over towards them. He had long brown hair, tips hitting his shoulders.  He was tall, really tall. At least a foot taller than Gabriel.  The thing that really caught Gabriel’s attention was his eyes. A beautiful hazel, dark browns and green swirled together to make up the intense light caramel color.  “What have I told you about…going…” The young man stopped his stride as he saw Gabriel and Castiel. “Amelia, go home.”

“But dad-“

“I’ll be there in a minute. Go.”

Amelia pouted but did as she was told. As soon she was out of earshot the man turned to Crowley with a hot fire burning in his eyes. “What the fuck is this?!”

“Well I would think you would know Sam. I mean you are well versed in the anatomy of angels,” Crowley said, the snark seeming to roll smoothly off his tongue.

“You know what I’m talking about Fergus,” Sam spat. Fergus?

“I bought angels, which I hardly think is any of your business,” Crowley said, crossing his arms.

“It’s my damn business when my daughter has to see it, and better yet I have to see you doing it. Look at what you’re doing to them! Chaining them up like fucking animals!” Sam exclaimed, anger dripping of his tongue like venom. Gabriel was liking this Sam more with every second.   
               

Sam reached out and grabbed Crowley’s shoulders, whispering something to soft for him to hear. Crowley laughed and shook Sam off.

“Sorry, he’s not home. And don’t give me that Leftist bullshit Sam. You know as well as I do that the law is on my side,”  Crowley said, staring Sam down before turning on his heel and walking back towards his house.  Sam shot the angels a sympathetic look before returning to his own house.

Crowley suddenly grabbed a handful of his hair, yanking hard. Gabriel made a small grunting noise, tears welling in his eyes. “Looks like I need to put you in your place.”


	4. Dimming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Graphic depictions of torture, violence, and Non-con!

Crowley unlocked Gabriel’s collar from the chain. Gabriel shot a quick look towards Castiel, mouthing “It’ll be okay.” to him. Crowley grabbed Gabriel by the back of the collar and yanked him up roughly.  
                 
“Come on, angel,” Crowley said, yanking him inside the house, choking Gabriel with his collar. He lead Gabriel through the house into a large bedroom at the end of a hallway. The room was incredibly large. Dark mahogany dresser, bedside tables, and shelves accented the room. The walls were a very deep purple, matching the lamps and curtains. But what really caught Gabriel’s eye was the huge four poster San Francisco King bed with black silk sheets, and the Enochian carved handcuffs on the bedside table.  
                 
“Alright angel, we’re going to make this really simple,” Crowley said, sitting the angel down on the bed. He reached into the drawer on the bedside table and pulled out a small remote. “You don’t listen to me, your baby brother gets a nice big shock.” He said, showing Gabriel the remote.  “Do you understand?”

Gabriel, obviously not going to put his brother in more pain, nodded. Gabriel couldn’t help but imagine all the sick things Crowley was going to do to him.  
                 
“I want to hear you say it.”

“Yes, I understand,” Gabriel whispered.

“Yes what?”  
                 
“….Yes sir?”  
                 
“Alright then. Strip, you can keep your boxers on.”  
                 
Gabriel took a deep breath and thought about Cas. He could do this. The slowly pulled his shirt off, then unbuckled his pants letting them pool around his ankles. The reality was starting to set in for Gabriel and he began to panic slightly.  He was exposed in front of a complete stranger, and his intent was pretty obvious. Crowley reached out to touch the angel’s neck, Gabriel shaking violently beneath his fingers.  
                 
Crowley leaned in and whispered in Gabriel’s ear.  “Get on the floor, hands and knees, eyes on the ground.”  
                 
Gabriel slowly lowered himself onto the floor, gripping the soft carpet and looking down at his hands. He heard Crowley rummaging around for something behind him. Gabriel took a few deep breaths to steady himself. It did little good as the next breathe got caught in his throat at the feel of dark silk covering his eyes. Crowley tied the blindfold tightly behind Gabriel’s head, getting some of his hair caught in the knot. Gabriel focused on the feeling of the carpet beneath him, trying not to panic about losing his greatest sense.  
                 
He heard a sharp sound in the air before he felt something connect with his skin. The painful noise of leather meeting skin rang in the room. Gabriel gasped, arching his back inwards as a terrible sting resonated on his lower back. Gabriel heard Crowley raise what he could only assume was a belt again and Gabriel readied himself for the next blow. Gabriel screamed as the belt came down on his left wing. His hands gave out under him as he instinctively reached up to hold his injured wing. Tears came to Gabriel’s eyes as he felt blood run through his fingers.  
                 
“On your back angel,” Crowley said, his voice dripping with lust. Gabriel tried to get an arm under him to flip himself over but failed miserably. Crowley sighed.

Gabriel heard a low continuous beep. What the-? Gabriel quickly realized he was hitting the shock function on Castiel’s collar. With a renewed strength Gabriel managed to flip himself over onto his back. The beeping stopped. Gabriel’s whole body protested at his injured areas rubbed against the carpet.  Gabriel lost count of how many times the belt came down across his chest, stomach, and wings shortly after that. Tears ran down his cheek without his permission. His mouth made sounds he hadn’t intended to release. And worst of all, Gabriel was completely powerless to control his body or defend himself.  
                 
Gabriel didn’t know how long he laid on the floor with Crowley completely dominating his body. He hardly even registered when Crowley had stop hitting him. All he knew was one second there were sharp sounds hitting his ears, and then they had stopped.

Gabriel gasped for breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly, sending sharp pain through him with every inhale.  He tried to move his wings and access the damage but they were so beyond injured they wouldn’t even move.  He felt warm blood running down his sides.  
                 
“Roll over,” Crowley said.  
                 
“I…I can’t,” Gabriel gasped, his chest burning from just those two words.  
                 
Gabriel heard the low beeping again. Tears came to eyes, he could hardly breath, much less turn over and poor Cas was paying for it. “Please, please stop.”  
                 
“That means it’s going to be more on you.”  
                 
“I don’t care, just please, leave him alone. It’s my fault. Do whatever you want to me.”  
                T  
he beeping stopped and Gabriel sighed in relief. He felt Crowley’s hands on his sides, roughly turning him over. Every wound on his body cried in protest. Gabriel let out a sob.               

“Mmm, keep making those delicious noises angel. Makes me tingle in all the right places.”  
                 
Gabriel wished to God he could just die right then and there on that floor. The humiliation he could deal with, but the pain. With all his Grace being stuffed down by the Enochian magic on his collar he felt every pain sharper then he’d ever felt before. It left him powerless and feeling completely human. Gabriel turned his head to the side, letting his tears flow freely.  
                 
Crowley let out a low moan at the sight. Gabriel heard that sharp sound in the air again and all his muscles tensed in anticipation.  He was expecting the belt but this time it was something worse. He screamed as the wooden cane connected with his skin. Crowley didn’t even pause in between strikes. It was hit after hit on his shoulders, back, and ass. Crowley had reduced Gabriel to a sobbing, begging mess in mere minutes. Gabriel tried to breathe through the pain but it was just too much and with blessed relief, he passed out.  
                 
Gabriel’s back was a river of black and blue bruises and even a few places where he had broke the skin. Crowley looked at his work with a smug sense of satisfaction. And to think, they were only getting started.


	5. Blacking Out Hope

Gabriel was awoke to the feel of hands running gently down his chest. It was only a short second later that all the pain came screaming back to him. He let out a loud moan, clamping his eyes shut tighter. He was aware of a pulling in his arm muscles, causing his wounds to to hurt worse than they already did.  He felt cold metal around his wrists and concluded he was handcuffed to the headboard of the bed.  At least the silk sheets were more forgiving on his back than the rough carpet. He slowly opened his eyes, even the smallest of movements drawing pain.  
                 
“There we go,” Crowley said softly, stroking a hand threw Gabriel’s sweat soaked hair. Gabriel leaned into the gentle touch, looking for comfort like a dog kicked by his owner. Gabriel  allowed himself to relax for a few seconds, pretending the stroke of Crowley’s hand was his mate’s on his skin. And then Crowley’s mouth was on his. Gabriel drew back quickly, eye’s wide in shock.

“What are you doing?” Gabriel asked, panicked.  
                 
“Don’t be dense, angel,” Crowley said, leaning down for another kiss. Gabriel mentally prepped himself.

  “ _It’s just sex. You’ve had sex. You’ve never been forced to have sex while terribly injured, but you can handle it. Hopefully. The more he concentrates on me, the less he concentrates on Cas. Try not to panic. Oh fuck it, I’m already panicking.”_  
                 
Crowley reached for Gabriel’s underwear, and Gabriel pulled on the handcuffs, trying to escape Crowley’s hands. Gabriel’s fight was quickly ended as he reopened wounds and injured himself further. Crowley pulled Gabriel’s underwear down, leaving him exposed and vulnerable. Crowley ran a hand in between Gabriel’s legs, running his fingers from shaft to his sphincter.  
                 
Gabriel whined and unconsciously pulled on the cuffs.  Crowley, feeling lust fill him at the noise, gently pushed his fingertip past the resistance of Gabriel’s entrance. Gabriel let out a gasp and brought up his leg to roll away from Crowley’s intrusion.

Crowley gave a wicked grin, like a snake in Eden. He slowly got off the bed and shed his clothes. Gabriel was breathing in quick pants, heart pounding hard against his ribs. The next thing Gabriel knew, Crowley was draped across his body, kissing his slowly. Gabriel felt Crowley’s erection  rubbing against his own. Gabriel quickly turned his head away, tears running down his cheeks.  
                 
As an Alpha angel everything in Gabriel’s being screamed at how wrong it felt. He shouldn’t be submitting, he should be fighting. He knew it would only cause worse pain for he and Cas, so he fought his instincts and laid still.

Everything was mostly a blur after that. There was pain, sweat, and tears. Gabriel remembered pulling on the handcuffs and making his wrists bleed. He remembered when the pain became more bearable, only because Crowley had torn him, his own blood being used as lubricant. He remembered Crowley’s moans and hot breath against his neck.  
                 
He didn’t remember how he got outside or when it started to rain. He became more lucid a few hours later. He felt the rain hitting his skin, and Castiel’s tear streaked face looking down at him. His shadow was barely visible against the black night sky. He remembered the feeling of Castiel’s tounge gently moving over the wound on Gabriel’s right wrist. Gabriel didn’t want Cas to take care of him. That was his job.  Somehow, he managed to crawl under the deck and collapse in a cool mud puddle before passing out.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Sam watched in horror as the little angel squirmed around on the ground, mouth opened in a silent scream. The shock collar making his whole body convulse. And then it stopped just as suddenly as it started. The little angel’s chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath.  
                 
Sam held Amelia close to his chest.  
                 
“Daddy?” Amelia asked.  
                 
“Yeah sweetie?”  
                 
“Why is he doing that?”  
                 
Sam sighed. “He’s….He’s sick, honey.”  
                 
“That’s not going to happen to me, is it?” Amelia worried.  
                 
“No honey. That’ll never happen to you.”  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
It was morning before Crowley came out to check on them again. Castiel was curled up next to Gabriel with his wings flared out to cover the opening under the deck. His feathers shuttered in his sleep. Crowley gently moved the tip of Castiel’s wing to look behind him. A visibly anguished Gabriel lay behind him in the mud, wide awake and in a fighting stance. It was quiet admirable to see the angel sunk in the mud, barely able to stand, yet ready to fight.  
                 
Gabriel let out a loud hiss. Crowley ignored Gabriel and unlocked the chain from Castiel’s collar. Castiel came to slowly, and whimpered as soon as he seen Crowley.  
                 
“Shh, angel. C’mere. I’m not going to hurt you.  How about we get you some food and a hot bath?” Crowley said softly, brushing his hands threw Castiel’s uninjured feathers. Gabriel looked towards his brother with fear in his eyes and Gabriel let out a low growl.  
                 
“Stop acting like an animal Gabriel,” Crowley spat at the older angel. Crowley gently picked up the smaller angel, running a hand threw his wings to calm him. Crowley could feel the tremors running through the young angel’s body as he he began to carry him towards the house.  
                 
There was a sudden sharp pain in Crowley’s ankle as Gabriel latched onto him with his teeth.  
                 
“Fuck!” Crowley yelped, kicking Gabriel in the face, effectively knocking him back. Castiel buried his head in Crowley’s shoulder, his warm tears running down Crowley’s neck. Castiel reached his hand out to Gabriel, who quickly grabbed  it with his own.  
                 
Gabriel’s hand, still covered with mud, slipped from Castiel’s fairly quickly and watched with horror as Crowley took Cas from him. Gabriel couldn’t help but let out a strangled sound of pain and call out Cas’ name. He watched as Castiel disappeared into the house.  
                 
Gabriel curled into himself and thought about Lucifer. Where was he, what would he have done, and even better yet, was he even still alive? Gabriel thought of Lucifer, and the horrible things Crowley must be doing to Cas,  and felt like he had failed the whole world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're going to go more into Gabriel and Castiel (and Lucifer's) background stories in the next chapter.


	6. What I Long For

Gabriel snuggled closer to the warm body cradling him in his nest. Warm wings rubbed against his back.   
                  
“Come on you two, up and at ‘em,” Michael said, waving his wings above the two angels huddled together in the nest.   
                  
“No,” Gabriel and Lucifer muttered at the same time  
                  
“Come on birthday boy, you don’t want to miss today, do you?” Michael said, playfully wiggling in between his mate and his baby.   
                  
Gabriel’s stomach lurched. His fifteenth birthday, he’d been dreading it for weeks. It was the day you went from a fledgling to an adult angel. The worst part about it was that Gabriel had to make the toughest decision of his life. To become a warrior, a breeder, a nurturer, a guardian, or a transitional angel.   
                  
Warriors were a group of only the strongest angels, mostly men, who had been trained in the toughest forms of combat. Breeders were the ones who bore the fledglings of heaven. A guardian, protecting their charges, and when a human’s day of death came, transitional angels came to take their soul to heaven and get them situated. And last there were the nurturers. The angels that took care of newborn fledglings till they reached the age of fifteen and started their own jobs.   
                  
Gabriel knew deep in his heart what he wanted to be, but it wasn’t something that would be looked at positively. Nurturers were always woman, except for a few exceptions. Lucifer was a transitional angel before Gabriel was born. It was by the special order of God that Lucifer was to take care of the young archangel.  Michael was a guardian and had decided to stay in the nest with Gabriel and Lucifer when he found out Lucifer was his mate, Gabriel only a year old at the time.   
                  
Gabriel obviously looked up to them for all their advice, love, and care. He knew the bond he had with Lucifer and Michael was one he would hold for the rest of his life. And he wanted to share that with another life.   
                  
Gabriel often helped other nurturers in times of need. He would watch fledglings when important things came up that even a nurturer had to leave heaven for. He considered it one of the best feelings in the world.  
                  
Gabriel was pulled out of his musings by a soft yawn from Lucifer as he rolled over and stretched his wings out. Gabriel curled in closer and set his head on Lucifer’s chest. Lucifer didn’t say anything. He could feel Gabriel fear and unease.

“Mikey, breakfast!” Lucifer trilled.   
                  
Michael seemed to get the message a flew away to let the two talk. Even though he considered himself a nurturer to Gabriel, Gabriel had a stronger bond with Lucifer.  
  
Lucifer and Gabriel just lay there for a while, Lucifer absently stroking a hand threw Gabriel’s hair.   
                  
“Do you think we’re going to dislike what you pick? Because you know it doesn’t matter. We’ll still love you, whatever you want to do,” Lucifer said quietly.   
                  
Gabriel bit his lip. “I know you will,” he said his voice thick and gravelly from sleep. “It’s everyone else I’m worried about. I guess you can say I won’t fit the gender role.”   
                  
“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a nurturer Gabriel,” Lucifer said softly, wrapping a wing around Gabriel.   
                  
“How did yo-“

“Because I’m awesome and all powerful,” Lucifer smiled.  
                  
Gabriel let out a soft laugh. If Lucifer and Michael were behind him, he could do this.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________   
Gabriel was in complete awe as he held the little fledgling in his arms. His blue eyes were locked onto Gabriel’s, waving one tiny fist around and grasping Gabriel’s fingers in his other.  Gabriel had Castiel for only a few hours now and he could already feel the bond they held.  He knew he would do anything to for his baby.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________   
To say Amelia had been a surprise would have been putting it mildly. It was a twenty one year old Sam finishing his Junior year of College and still recovering from a terrible incident two years earlier, and a quick fuck in the backseat of a car.   
                  
Sam had sat on the bathroom floor for almost four hours crying and hoping to God it was all a cruel joke. That was how Dean found him, thank god their dad was out for the night.   
                  
Sam had cried to Dean about his whole life being ruined, something about welfare checks and minimum wage jobs. How he was never going to go to finish college like Dean who was already six years into getting his degree for angelic nursing.  Mostly he talked about how his dad was going to be disappointed.   
  
“Where’s your brother?” John asked, putting a bag of groceries on the counter.   
                  
Sam shrugged. “He had an early class.”   
                  
“Why aren’t you in school?” John asked turning on his heel to look at his youngest. Sam was sitting on the edge of one of the motel beds, arms wrapped protectively around his stomach. His skin was pale and clammy. His stomach was in knots and he was nauseous from morning sickness.   
                  
“Hey, are you okay?” John asked kneeling down in front of his son. He placed a hand on his forehead. “You’re burning up.”  
                  
Sam nodded and muttered quietly.  “I have to tell you something.”   
                  
“What?”  
                  
“I’m pregnant.”   
                  
John was silent for a long while. He ran a hand down his face wearily.   
                  
“Please don’t be mad at me,” Sam said, tears welling in his eyes.   
                  
“Hey, come here,” John said, wrapping his arms around his son.  “Shh, I’m not mad. It’s gonna be okay. Here put your coat on.”   
                  
“Where are we going?” Sam asked as his dad stood up and put his coat around his shoulders.   
                  
“We’re going to get you to the doctors and make sure you and the baby are okay.”   
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
In the end everything turned out okay. His dad became his biggest support system. He took him to doctors appointments, and took care of him while Dean was at classes. He helped Sam threw thirty-seven hours of labor and delivery. And when Sam was ready to go back to college, John took care of Amelia for him. In the end everything seemed to work out…. Or at least Sam had hoped.


	7. Trying to Ignite the Embers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, here it is! Enjoy!

Gabriel was awoken about an hour later to a blast of freezing cold water to the face. He spluttered awake with a shaky intake of breathe.   
                  
“Bath time for naughty angels!” Crowley called out before Gabriel got another blast of icy water. Gabriel shivered violently, his wounds screaming in pain from the cold water. His grace swirled low in his stomach, making him feel sick.

“Crowley, stop, please!” Gabriel yelled, swaying on his feet from exhaustion and the pressure from the hose water.

“You could be having a hot bath right now if you decided that your mouth could have been put to better uses,” Crowley said.    
                  
Gabriel’s pleas went unanswered as he was blasted once again in the face. There was suddenly a loud chirp from above them. Crowley turned off the hose and looked up. A little angel laid on a low hanging branch, his little wings flapping leisurely behind his back. He let out another quiet coo, flying over to a larger branch.   
                  
“Dammit Janiel,” Crowley muttered. Crowley turned his back to Gabriel. “Come on, out of the tree.” He reached up towards him. The angel flew a few branches higher, sniffing at a leaf.  Crowley made a sound of frustration.   
                  
“DEAN!” Crowley yelled.   
                  
“WHAT!” Another man yelled from the other yard.   
                  
“Janiel’s in my tree again!”   
                  
“I’m coming!”   
                  
Gabriel took the distraction as a chance to bury himself in mud under the porch again, the coolness of the wet earth easing some of his pains. . A young man in his late twenties came jogging over.   
                  
“Sorry Crowley, he broke the leash. And now he’s learning to fly… and just ugh. Can’t keep my eye on his anymore,” Dean said, starting to climb the tree. “Come on baby, come here.”

 The little angel stared right at Dean then tried to scramble away.   
                  
Dean quickly grabbed onto his leg. “You little stinker.”  The angel quickly shook Dean off and flew under the porch. Dean quickly reached under the deck before pulling his hand back with a yell.

“Did you just bite me you little shit?!”

“GABRIEL!” Crowley yelled.   
                  
Dean heard a low whine from the deck. He crouched down, holding his injured hand to his chest. . Janiel was buried under Gabriel’s chin and Gabriel looked up with him with fearful eyes.   
                  
Dean’s eyes softened. “Hey there.” Dean said quietly.  Janiel cooed and snuggled closer to Gabriel.  Dean slowly reached out towards Gabriel. He let out a low growl. “It’s okay. I’m a doctor. You don’t look too good buddy.”

Gabriel looked skeptical but laid his head down on the ground next to Janiel, letting Dean rest his hand on his forehead. This must be the uncle Amelia had been talking about.  
                  
“Fergus, when was the last time he drank or ate?” There it was again, Fergus. Must be some kind if nickname or something.

 Crowley shrugged standing behind Dean. “About a day or two ago.”   
                  
Dean gently stroked his hand threw Gabriel’s hair. Gabriel closed his eyes and rested into the touch, feeling safe with Dean there. “He’s burning up. Do you have any open or untreated wounds?”  
                 
Gabriel gave the barest of nods.   
                  
“Fergus, would you let me take him to the clinic to check for infections or something.”

Gabriel gave a small whimper, remembering the doctors who cut his wings at the auction house.   
                  
Crowley let out a heavy sigh. “Well, he’s no good sick. I’ll be back in a minute.”   
                  
As soon as Crowley was out of earshot Dean started whispering to Gabriel. “Hey, everything’s going to be fine. I’m going to take you to my brother Sam. You met him a day or two ago right?”  
                  
Gabriel nodded. Mr. angel activist? Yeah, he was okay with that.   
                  
“We’re going to get you a few days of rest.”  
                  
“But…my brother…”  
                  
Dean looked away. “I don’t know if there’s anything I can do.”   
                  
“I can’t leave him,” Gabriel whispered.   
                  
“Gabriel, you could die from infection if we don’t treat you. Is your brother as bad as you?”  
                  
“No…actually…I think he just, fed him or something,” Gabriel said. “But I don’t trust him.”  
                  
“I don’t really blame you. I don’t trust him with my brother either.”   



	8. A little TLC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas gets comfortable with Crowley while Gabriel takes a trip to the hospital.

Crowley drove to the clinic with Cas next to him in the front seat. Cas looked so much better. The bandages on his wings had been replaced and his wings primped and clean. The fact that they had been clipped was still obvious, but it wasn’t as noticeable with his wings so clean and glossy. Crowley rubbed the back of his neck while he was driving and Cas seemed to be purring silently. Fucking purring.   
                  
Gabriel felt a knot in his stomach. Dean felt his tension and held Gabriel a little tighter. Gabriel was curled up in Dean’s lap, wrapped in a large blanket. He had mud caked on every inch of his body and was starting to become itchy and uncomfortable.   
                  
Castiel looked back at Gabriel occasionally, worry creased on his face. It never lasted long though because Crowley kept grabbing his attention. Crowley was manipulating Cas through sweet actions now, but Crowley would turn and hurt him, Dean knew he would. Tears came to Gabriel’s eyes. It was only three days and Castiel was already falling for their  captor.   
                  
Dean wiped the tears from his eyes, not saying a word. The car came to an abrupt halt as Crowley parked in front of the clinic.   
                  
“Fergus, I need you to take this shock collar off. We only allow the leather ones.”  
                  
Crowley let out a huff but opened the glove compartment and pulled out a leather collar and a small key ring. He went over to the right passenger side door and switched the collars, securing it in the back with a small padlock.   
                  
“Sam will probably want to keep him overnight for observation,” Dean said as they stood in front of the doors to the clinic.   
                  
“Alright, I’ll just fill out the forms and come pick him up around noon.”  
                  
“Okay. I’m going to bring him into an exam room.”  
                  
Gabriel gave one last look at his little brother, lifting his hand up in goodbye. Cas looked around with worry. Gabriel was gone. He had almost twenty-four hours alone with Crowley.   
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Dean brought Gabriel into a bright room. It looked like a standard ER hospital room. Medical tools everywhere and examination bed in the back right corner. The only thing that was different were two long sink like basins. One looked like a regular sink but long enough to fit a person, but only about six inches deep. The other was the same size but was lined in padding and had a heat lamp above it.   
                  
Dean laid Gabriel down in the metal sink. Gabriel gasped as pain ran through him.   
                  
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Dean muttered as he readjusted Gabriel onto his side. “I’m going to go get Sam, you just rest.” Gabriel defiantly took his suggestion to heart. For the first time in days Gabriel actually felt safe enough to fall into a deep sleep very quickly. He didn’t know how long he was out but he remembered being gently shaken awake. Gabriel slowly opened his eyes to meet a pair of deep hazel eyes.   
                  
“You with me Gabriel?” Sam asked quietly. “You’re in pretty bad shape buddy.”   
                  
“Yeah,” Gabriel replied slowly, unable to stop staring. This was the first time he had actually got an up close look at Sam.  He had his bangs swept to the left side of his forehead to keep it out of his eyes. The rest of his brown hair was cut shaggy, just above the bottom of his ears, making him look very young and boyish. His eyes seemed to change colors with the light, one second being brown, the next light green with brown swirls. He had a small, light colored mole to the right side of his nose. Gabriel smiled a little.   
                  
His grace stirred in his gut pleasantly. Sam smiled back. “Alright, I’ve gotta clean you up before I can really do anything.” Gabriel nodded.   
                  
“Okay,” Sam said gently removing the blanket from around him.   
                  
“Oh Gabe.”  
                  
“I…I slept under the porch last night.”   
                  
Gabriel realized for the first time that he was shaking violently. “Do you might if I look at your stomach and legs?” Gabriel knodded. Sam pulled the blanket down to reveal a river of bruises, cuts, and lacerations. There was dried blood and come on his underwear and thighs.   
                  
Sam paused, utterly horrified. It’s not like he hadn’t seen these things before but it still tugged at his heart. Especially when he knew exactly who this angel was with and what he was capable of.   
                  
Gabriel felt a hand slide into his. He hadn’t even realized he started to cry until Sam wiped his eyes. “It’s going to be okay.”  
                  
“No, it’s not. Crowley’s going to do the same to Cas. I just know it, and I won’t be able to stop it.” Gabriel just couldn’t hold it in. The past three days had been a living nightmare and it was just the start of it all. Sam pulled up a chair and sat down next to Gabe, squeezing both his hands. He didn’t say anything but he knew Gabriel was right. Fergus was like a ticking time bomb, just waiting for the right second to blow his fuse.   
                  
“I’m sorry. This isn’t your crap to deal with,” Gabe said, quickly wiping away his tears.    
                  
“You have every right to be angry or sad or whatever the hell your feeling. If I could help you and your brother get out of there right now, I would. I think you’ve been wronged by the government. I see this shit almost daily. I want to do everything I can to help angels, so if you gotta vent, you vent as much as you want.”   
                  
Gabriel covered his mouth with his arm and went into a fit of coughing. Sam gently patted him on the back till he stopped.   
                  
“Thanks,” Gabe muttered softly.  
                  
“That cough doesn’t sound good. What do you say we get you cleaned up and checked out? You just lay back and relax. I’m going to need you to move your wings either above your head or straight out. It’s easier to clean them last.”    
                  
Gabriel snuggled down into the basin and spread his wings out and letting them relax over the edge. Sam snapped on a pair of medical gloves and reached over to a pump bottle. He pumped out two squirts of a thin white liquid. With gentle hands he rubbed the liquid across Gabriel’s chest and neck. Soap.   
                  
Sam’s hands were warm against his chilled skin. He gave an involuntary shiver. Sam grabbed for a shower head resting in a holder next to his head. He messed around with a dial on the end before turning it on. Warm water dripped across Gabriel’s chest.   
                  
He let out a small sigh and closed his eyes. Sam cleaned the front of his body before turning him on his other side so his back was facing Sam. Gabriel was in a state of bliss, the pain of his injuries hardly registering against Sam’s carful treatment.   
                  
After a few minutes Sam sighed. “Gabe, I hate to ask, but…”  
                  
“Just…do it quick.”   
                  
Sam took out a pair of scissors and cut the bloody garment off. What was underneath was about a million times more awful. He had long thin bruises wrapped around his cock. He had one large bruise on the underside of his scrotum. He had finger-sized bruises with half moon cuts above them on his hips. He had a long slender cut and dried come on the inside of his thighs.   
                  
Sam didn’t say anything, just quickly washed away the blood and come and covered Gabriel with a towel.


	9. Burned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Solstice guys! This is my present to you.

Gabriel felt groggy and achy. He shifted slightly and cracked his eyes open a bit.   
                  
“Hey, you waking up?” Sam said softly above him.   
                  
After Sam had cleaned Gabriel he had placed Gabriel in the soft padded “sink” and turned on the heat lamp to dry Gabriel off and warm him up.  While Gabriel was resting Sam had put an I.V in to get some fluids and medication into the angel. Sam had gave Gabriel a mix of strong pain medication and sleeping medication. It would have been long and painful for Gabriel to deal with all the stitching Sam had to do. Sam had ended up putting almost fifty stitches in Gabriel.   
                  
Gabriel licked his lips. “Water?”   
                  
“Right here,” Sam said quietly, putting a straw to Gabriel’s lips.   
                  
Gabriel drank in the ice cold water like it was the best thing in the world. Gabriel pulled away from the cup slowly, laying back against his pillow.

 “How’s the pain?”  
                  
Gabriel had to take a minute to assess that question. Sure he felt achy and stiff, a twinge of pain here or there. He felt the best he had in four days.   
                  
“Okay actually.”   
                  
“Yeah, I’ve got you on some nice painkillers,” Sam said with a smile. Gabriel smiled a little.  
                  
“Gabe, your wings are really disarrayed and it looks like your oil glands are kind of plugged up,” Sam said. “Would you feel comfortable letting me groom them?”   
                  
Gabriel paused for a second before slowly nodding. He did trust Sam to touch his wings, the realization came as a great euphoria for Gabriel. Sam ran a hand threw Gabriel’s hair before getting up to put on a pair of gloves.   
                  
“When was your last heat? Rut?”  
                  
“Uhm…my last rut,” Gabriel had to think for a minute. “Seven years ago?” He said tentatively.   
                  
Sam nodded, gently prodding around Gabriel’s wing glands. Sam reached over and grabbed a cotton swab. He gently insert it into the small opening of his oil gland, cleaning out dirt and grime. Gabriel closed his eyes and let himself relax against the feel of Sam hands on him.   
                  
After about five minutes of Sam manipulating his left oil gland, Gabriel felt warm liquid running down his feathers. He sighed with relief. His oil glands had been plugged up for so long, it felt so good to have the pressure released.   
                  
“Nice color, smells normal, thin not thick. This one looks healthy,” Sam said, more to himself.  
                  
Sam moved on his little spinning stool to the other side of Gabriel’s bed. This time when Sam touched his right oil gland, Gabriel felt a hot tingling feel in his gut. A hot rush of oil spilled out from both his glands. His scent changed slightly to something more flowery, something normally used when angels were attracting a mate.   
                  
Gabriel’s face turned a bright red. Oh god, he could die. Sam was attractive. Very much so. He was gentle and caring. His body was reacting to him as a potential mate. Sam moved his hands off Gabriel to pull out an attachment on the side of the bed. He lifted Gabriel’s wing onto the attachment, which was a small table for grooming.   
                  
Gabriel could feel his cock getting hard. He drew in a sharp breath as pain ran through his penis. Gabriel when Crowley had done some serious damage to his genitals but he wasn’t quite sure how bad the damage was. Sam seemed to be taking extra care to ignore Gabriel’s arousal, which he was immensely grateful for.  Over the time it took for Sam to groom the first three fourths of his right wing, Gabriel was a mess. He had sweat dripping down his face and oil soaking his wings. His cock was so hard and in so much pain. He was close to coming and he really wished he just would so the pain would stop.   
                  
“Sam!” Gabriel gasped. Sam quickly looked up at Gabriel. Sam had been so engrossed in his work, he hadn’t realized just how much he was affecting Gabriel. Sam moved his hands off Gabriel.  
                  
“I’m going to give you a break.”   
                  
Sam went to stand, but was stopped by Gabriel placing a hand on the exposed skin of his thigh where his shirt had risen up. Sam stopped in his tracks, a deep tingling feeling running threw his whole body. He looked into Gabriel’s eyes and seen the deep look of adoration and arousal.   
                  
Without even thinking, Sam placed his hand over Gabriel’s. A sudden burst of pleasure ran deep inside Sam causing him to gasp and fall to his knees.   
                  
He heard Gabriel let out a loud moan above him. Sam laid down on the floor, trying to catch his breath from the startling orgasm. A few seconds after the hardest part of the orgasm dissipated, he felt a burning tingle where Gabriel’s hand had been. Sam lifted up his scrub shirt only to reveal a bright red handprint on his thigh. Gabriel had marked him as mated.


	10. Not who I am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so damn sorry this took so fing long! Hope you guys enjoy!

Gabriel sat cross legged at the head of his bed, his IV line suddenly very interesting.  He felt queasy and his head ached something awful. He heard the door to his room creak open quietly, but he didn’t look up. He felt a dip as Sam sat down on the end of the bed.   
                  
Sam mirrored Gabriel’s position. Gabriel looked up at Sam. He was ashen looking and was wearing a new set of clothes. He gave Gabriel a weak smile. He pushed a cold sandwich and a bottle of orange juice towards Gabriel.  
                  
“Eat, you’ll feel better,” Sam said before digging into his own sandwich.  Gabriel picked up his food and put it on the table before placing his head in Sam’s lap and his hand on his outer thigh.   
                  
“Are you okay?” Gabriel asked softly, tears coming to his eyes.   
                  
“Yeah….I just needed a minute,” Sam said. A blush rose on Sam’s cheeks. “That and I had to change my clothes.”  
                  
“Oh my god.” Gabriel covered his face with his hands. Sam chuckled softly.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Sam took to the unexpected mating amazing well. While Sam didn’t really feel anything, Gabriel’s grace had sparked hot in his body. His grace swirled in his stomach with a white hot intensity, much more noticeable then before. At some times it was so intense he was physically sick. That was when Gabriel thought there might actually be another problem entirely.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________   
Gabriel had finally stopped throwing up and had his head resting on Sam’s chest. Sam ran a hand through Gabe’s hair, talking softly.  
                  
“You know, Crowley really isn’t a bad guy.”   
                  
Gabriel looked up at Sam, shocked. “Are you serious?”   
                  
Sam let out a small smile. “Crowley is a good guy, Fergus is the problem.”   
                  
“You and Dean keep calling him that, what’s up?” Asked Gabriel confused.

Sam let out a loud breathe. “I used to date Crowley, back in college.  He was a nice guy then, a little…. Unorthodox, but a nice guy. Until his sister died. Then he started…. Getting mean and violent. He started hitting me, and then he would apologize up and down and say it wasn’t him. And I put up with it for a long time. Then one night, he barged into my dorm. He thought I was cheating on him. He beat me so bad I passed out. Dean found me a day later when I wouldn’t answer his calls. I was in the hospital for weeks. The cops arrested him and when I got out of the hospital, I went to confront him. It wasn’t the same guy that had hurt me that night. He lost a lot of weight and he….  I don’t know, something just wasn’t right. So, I hired one of the best psychologists in the state and paid for a mental evaluation.”  
                  
“Is that how you go this scar?” Gabe asked, running his fingers over a thin scar just under Sam’s hairline. He nodded.  
                  
“I had swelling in my brain. I was in rehab for months to learn to walk again.”  
                   
“What happened with the psychologist?”   
                  
“He was diagnosed with some kind of personality disorder, like DID, but much worse. He couldn’t deal with his sister dying properly, so an alternate personality, Fergus, came out.  Fergus is a sociopath. He doesn’t have emotions, and that’s exactly what Crowley needed, to be strong and not deal with things. Except with Crowley’s disorder he can switch between Fergus and normal with no time in between. He can remember everything that happens when Fergus comes out, but he can’t control him. He said it’s like being trapped in his own body. And even when Crowley is himself, Fergus is always there. So they transferred him to a mental hospital. He was there for about half a year until they found a good medication that let him smother down his other personality and be himself again. The day he got out of the hospital, I went to pick him up. That first night I had him back, It was like nothing had ever happened. He was that same guy that I had been dating a couple years before. When he’s on his medication, he’s fine, but when he gets stressed, he goes off them. And then Fergus takes over, I finally couldn’t take it anymore.”

Gabriel was quiet. “I’m sorry he hurt you.”  
                  
“I’m sorry he hurt _you_.”  
                  
Gabriel recalled the words Crowley, no Fergus, said shortly after they met. _I’m not cruel. I’m actually quiet sympathetic, but only if you listen to me and don’t fight it, once you start disobeying me, that’s when I’ll get mean. I hope you both learn that early on._  
                  
He thinks Crowley was trying to warn him.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________   
Castiel trailed close behind Crowley, the little angel fidgety from being away from his brother for a whole night. Castiel had a terrible time trying to sleep outside by himself. He had scratched at the porch until Crowley carried him into the house and let him sleep in his bed with him.   
                  
Crowley talked to a man for a very long time while Castiel looked around the immediate area. Every shelf was covered in angel care supplies. Castiel was especially enraptured with a fleecy chick yellow blanket. It was so soft and warm. The angel ran the material over his cheek.  
                  
“You like that Castiel?” Castiel jumped at the sound of Crowley’s voice, afraid he might be in trouble. Castiel put the blanket back on the shelf and then looked down at the floor, hands behind his back. The man Crowley was talking to spoke to him in Enochian.  
                  
“He wants to know if you like the blanket.”  
                  
Castiel looked up at Crowley bashfully. He nodded. Crowley smiled before grabbing the light yellow blanket and a baby blue one of the same material. Crowley handed the blankets to the man. After a few minutes the man came back with the blue blanket in a bag and he handed the yellow blanket to Cas.   
                  
Crowley kneeled in front of Castiel and lifted up the corner of the blanket. Sewn in light blue thread, Castiel recognized the word as his own name in human speak. Crowley had actually bought the blanket for _him_.  Unable to express his gratitude in any other way he threw his arms around Crowley’s waist. Crowley stroked his hair for a moment before Castiel moved away. Crowley bought a few more things and they went to get Gabriel.  
  
Gabriel sat with his legs swung over the side of the bed, head in hands. Shivers wracked his body. He was dressed in clean jeans and a black shirt with sewn in strap across the back of it to keep his wings presses against his body. They didn’t stop him from pulling out his wings, they just made it easier to rest them. Crowley ran a hand threw his hair.   
                  
“He developed a fever late last night, he should be fine if you give him his antibiotics twice a day and keep him hydrated,” Dean said, handing a prescription bag to Crowley.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
Sam had said goodbye to Gabriel privately, promising to come check on him in a few days. Gabriel rested his hand against the mark on Sam’s thigh. 

“Thank you,” he said softly. “For not rejecting…this.” He said making a vague hand gesture between the two of them.  
                  
Sam smiled sadly. “Just because I don’t feel it right now, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like the opportunity to one day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are my life blood.


	11. Coming home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit. Can't believe I finished this chapter this fast. Hopefully that makes up for my shitty updating.

Crowley gently gripped Gabriel’s elbow, guiding him to the front passenger seat. Castiel was asleep in the back seat, clutching a yellow blanket tightly. 

“Are your wings comfortable?” Crowley asked softly.

Sam had told Gabriel in a hushed voice that it really was Crowley. For the first time, Gabriel got to meet the man who had really adopted him. 

“Can you uh shift the left one up a little bit?”

Crowley gently pulled his wing up, making sure not to pull any feathers. 

“Good?” 

Gabriel nodded. The first half of the car ride was made in awkward silence, then Crowley finally spoke.

“Gabriel -”

“Sam told me.”

Crowley was silent, nodding his head slightly. “I’m sorry for what he did to you. I um- I started taking my medication again. It’s my job to keep you safe, I can’t be irresponsible with my health. When I seen the ad for you and your brother, I wanted to spoil you both rotten.” Crowley smiled sadly. “I’m going to make it up to you, the best I can. And I…uh… hope you can learn to trust me, though I wouldn’t expect it.” 

Gabriel nodded. 

Crowley smiled wide. “I set up you and Castiel’s room last night. I bought some things for you guys.”

“Where… where did Castiel sleep last night?” 

Crowley pursed his lips. “The foot of my bed. I can’t believe he’s this clingy after what I’ve done to him.” 

Gabriel’s lips quirked a bit. “He can feel the change in your emotions. He felt something different when you changed personalities. That and he’s a baby. He’s still under my care, well, as far as angels are concerned.”

Crowley raised his eyebrows. “Castiel is your son?!” 

Gabriel smiled. “In angel law? Yes. Biologically? No. When I was fifteen in angel years, Castiel was given to me to take care of.”

“So how old is Castiel?”

“In angel years, twelve. Human years, twelve hundred.”

Crowley’s jaw dropped. “Twelve hundred? And that’s a baby?”

“Angels are considered adults when they turn fifteen and have had their first heat or rut. If they turn fifteen and haven’t reached sexual maturity, they’re considered fledglings still. If an angel hasn’t reached sexual maturity by twenty, they are considered an asexualized angel and are given special jobs. It happens very rarely, but not unheard of.” 

Crowley nodded. “That was one of the main reasons I wanted to buy you. Castiel looked so….innocent and lost. Like a lost puppy. I want to give you guys a home.”

Gabriel was silent for a few minutes. “Fergus….he doesn’t…. um, Castiel….”

“Yes,” Crowley said simply, quietly. “I don’t!” Crowley said quickly. “He’s so young I feel wrong even thinking about that. Fergus has no qualms about the wrongness of anything sexual. He has no boundaries.” 

Gabriel hesitated before asking the next question. “Do you find me…. Arousing?”

Crowley seemed a bit shocked by the question. “I..I..” He paused and took a deep breath. “You are beautiful. Everything about you is. But, I won’t act on it, and I will never force you to do it. I am not Fergus.” Crowley placed his hand gently over Gabriel’s. “You are not my slave or my pet. You are a member of my home, and if there’s something you don’t like, or something you want, I’ll fix it the best I can.”

Gabriel turned his hand over in Crowley’s and laced his fingers between his. “I don’t blame you for what Fergus did to me. I….appreciate your true intentions because most people don’t buy angels for anything other than slave labor. If putting up with Fergus every once in a while is the worst thing that comes out of this, I think me and Cassie got it pretty good.” For the first time in a long time Gabriel actually smiled.

Crowley smiled and squeezed his hand. “Oh! I scheduled for Castiel to have surgery on Friday to repair the vocal cord damage.” 

And with that, Gabriel knew, they had found a home where they would be treated as equals. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

The walls in the room were painted a soft sky blue with cream color clouds painted sporadically over the walls. There were two circular beds with a padded cloud shaped border going about eight inches high around the whole bed except for a small entrance. There was a big fluffy comforter and about ten pillows in each bed. Every part of the bed was the same cream color as the clouds on the wall. In the right front corner was a darkly stained book shelf full on angel books. Anatomy, books in Enochian, beginning English for angels, small picture books in both English and Enochian. 

Crowley placed Castiel gently in one of the beds. He rubbed the back of his neck.

“If you want me to change anything…?”

“No,” Gabriel cut him off. “No, it’s perfect.”

Crowley smiled. “Good. I wanted it to feel homey for you guys.”

“Thank you. It really is perfect.” Gabriel ran his fingers over the spines of the books.

“Once I repaired Cas’s cords, I thought I could teach him English so I could communicate with him,” Crowley quickly amended with, “or you could. He’d probably more comfortable learning with you.” 

“No, no I think he’d like that. Help him bond with you more,” Gabriel said quietly. 

“Oh!” Crowley said quietly, setting down the bags of things he and Castiel had bought. “Come here, let me take that uncomfortable thing off you.” 

Gabriel knelt down next to Crowley as he pulled out a plain black leather collar with wool on the inside and a silver tag dangling in the front. 

“Wish I didn’t have to make you wear these things, but I don’t want you to get taken away.” Crowley removed the uncomfortable hard plastic collar and padlocked the new one into place. 

“And, I got you a blanket to match Cas’.” Crowley said, pulling out the blue blanket with the light yellow embellishment. 

Gabriel smiled at the name on the bottom corner of the blanket. “Thank you.”

Crowley nodded. “I guess you’re still pretty tired. Let’s get those antibiotics and some food in you and I’ll let you sleep.”  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After Gabriel’s first warm meal in a very long time he crawled into the nest like bed. Crowley switched off the light and turned on a pale blue nightlight that cast a twilight feel over the room. Gabriel curled deep into the blankets pressing the blue one against his stomach as his grace settled there, warm and calm. Gabriel felt like he was back in his fledgling nest. And for the first time since he could remember, it felt like home.


	12. To have Loved and Lossed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice long chapter! Hope you guys enjoy!

4 days later…. 

Gabriel was wrapped up in a black hoodie with his blue blanket covering his lower half as he laid down on the hammock in the backyard. 

Crowley and Castiel were raking fall leaves together in a pile. A cold November breeze blew through Gabriel’s hair. Gabriel pulled his hood up to protect himself from the cold wind. 

Castiel let out a loud chirp as jumped out from beneath a leaf pile, feathers laden with the fallen foliage. Crowley let out a small laugh. 

“I’m never going to get anything done if you keep doing that,” Crowley said with a crooked smile on his face. “We have to get the house ready for Thanksgiving.”

Castiel tilted his head in confusion. Gabriel smiled. Gabriel looked forward to the human concept of a day of thanks. A day to cherish what you loved and eat a nice meal with all your family. Gabriel had been thinking heavily of Lucifer lately. Being able to again care for Castiel the way he pledged to, and the nest like feel of his bed made him think of their home and Gabriel’s own nurturer. 

Gabriel was removed from his thoughts when Castiel peeked over the side of the hammock. Gabriel smiled.

Castiel let out a low coo. “My wings itch.”

Gabriel sat up and gently started to pull bits of leafs and grass from his wings. Castiel purred with contentment. Gabriel cleaned Castiel’s wings for a long while to the background sound of Crowley raking up the destroyed leaf piles. After half an hour Castiel’s wings had oil dripping off of them and they twitched with every little touch. Gabriel squinted his eyes in concern. Castiel never secreted this much fluid during a normal wing cleaning and the twitching was unnatural. 

Gabriel shrugged it off as Castiel’s oil glands finally opening up to their full capacity, a normal sign around that age of a healthy growing angel. 

“Alright, you’re good,” Gabe said, pushing him forward a bit. Gabriel watched fondly as Castiel ran off to destroy more leaf piles.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Lucifer, will you at least drink this?” Dean asked quietly holding out a thick protein shake to Lucifer. 

“I want to see Michael.”

Dean sat down next to Lucifer. “You know he’s in quarantine. It’s too dangerous.” 

A tear slid down his cheek. “I’m losing him Dean. I can feel it. I…I have to see him. He’s not going to make it much longer Dean.”

Dean ran a hand through Lucifer’s hair. “Lucifer…”

“Please! He’s all I have left. I lost my fledgling, my grand-fledgling, and now I’m about to lose my mate. I can’t let him die alone. I need to be there. You know he won’t last the day, just….please.”

Dean supposed Lucifer was trying to look him in the eye but was a bit off and looking more towards his forehead. After Lucifer and Michael had been brought in to the clinic about a month ago, it was very apparent that both were unlikely to make it. Lucifer had gone blind from having holy oil poured in his eyes daily with no way to heal himself. Now even without the power restricting collar on, the damage was irreversible. Lucifer had also been so skinny he couldn’t stand, weighing a deathly sixty two pounds. Michael was so sick they didn’t think he’d make it through the night. He had contracted a rare disease that was the only one of its kind known to kill angles. It attacked their Grace and ate away at it until the angel had nothing left and could no longer keep it’s body going. They had made Michael as comfortable as they could, doping him on pain medication, and putting him in a quiet room at the end of the hospital which they then quarantined due to how infectious the disease was to other angels. 

Dean had only seen him a few times but it always made him so sad to see what the beautiful creature had become. His feathers had begun falling out, leaving bloody patches on the thin skin covering his bones. The light was always dim in his room now because of the terrible headaches he would have almost daily. His body was wracked with excruciating cramps and aches. He was having more and more troubles breathing as the days went by and was now up to sixty eight percent oxygen. His heart rate had been slowly going down over the last three days. Lucifer was right. He more than likely wouldn’t last the night. 

Dean sighed. Michael was his mate, he couldn’t deny Lucifer’s request to see him. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Dean gently helped Lucifer to sit in the wheelchair. The angel had his clothes covered with a protective covering as well as a facemask and surgical gloves. Dean knelt in front of him. 

“I need to warn you…It’s bad Lucifer. I don’t even know if he’ll know who you are, or if he’ll be able to talk to you or even open his eyes. I just want you to be ready for what condition he could be in.”

Lucifer nodded. “I am.” 

Lucifer didn’t remember Dean pushing him to Michael’s room, or going in, the next thing he was aware of was all the noises. He could hear Michael’s breathing was labored and his heart rate monitor was making small noises every once in a while. Lucifer reached out with both hands, searching for Michael’s once he found it he clasped it tightly between both of his. 

“I really thought I was going to die without seeing you again,” Michael said softly taking deep breaths between every few words. Lucifer jumped a bit not expecting him to be awake, much less coherent. 

Lucifer looked up at him (at least he hoped) with tears in his eyes. He squeezed Michael’s hand. “Never. I’m here til the end. I don’t care if they have to drag me out kicking and screaming. I’m not leaving you alone.”

Michael squeezed his hand. “Is Dean still here?” Lucifer asked looking around, not hearing any trace of the young doctor.

“No, he left right after he brought you in.”   
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Neither of them knew when it happened but somehow they had maneuvered themselves so Lucifer could lay with Michael without disturbing any of the machines. Lucifer had his hand resting over Michael’s which was pressed against the sick angel’s chest. They had their foreheads touching. Lucifer could feel the top of Michael’s oxygen mask against his cheek. His breathing had become more labored or the past hour and his heart rate monitor was making less noise every minute. Lucifer moved his hand along Michael’s back, rubbing it soothingly, but always stopping at the base of his wings.

“Lucifer…touch them?” Michael said quietly. Lucifer hesitated a moment, knowing his wings were more than likely just bloody skin and broken feathers at this point. 

He gently ran the tips of his fingers over the base and slowly moved his hand up. He felt gauze bandages, broken feathers, skin…. But then, a small patch of undisturbed feathers about the size of his palm. Lucifer gently ran his fingers through the soft feathers as Michael let out a deep sigh. 

“Pluck one.”

Lucifer quickly pulled his hand away. “What, Michael no!”

Michael sounded more tired than Lucifer had ever heard him. “My grace….is almost gone. I can hardly….feel it. Once I die….They’ll cremate me immediately…so no one else can get infected. I want you…. To have something. Please.”

Lucifer couldn’t stop the anguished sob from coming from his throat. He pressed his hand harder against Michael’s as if trying to physically will his own grace into his mate. 

“Don’t….don’t cry. I’m finally going…back home. It won’t be the same….without you. But…I’ll wait….forever for you….if I have to.” 

“I won’t make it without you!” Lucifer sobbed. 

Michael shushed him quietly, running a weak hand threw his hair. With the rest of the strength he had left, he reached back in a awkward position. He pulled out his most undamaged and longest feather, letting out a pained hiss as he pulled it out. He gently ran the feather down Lucifer’s cheek. Lucifer took it gently between his free hand, taking the next five minutes to control his sobs, trying to be strong for Michael. 

“I love you,” Lucifer said once he got his emotions under control. Michael squeezed Lucifer’s hand. 

“I love you, too,” Michael said, his breathing even more labored. After a few minutes of silence, Michael said softly. “I’m tired. I think…I’m going to…shut my eyes.” 

Lucifer nodded. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Kay.”

Both of them knew he wouldn’t wake up. Lucifer wraps both his arms around Michael in a tight embrace. He shuffled his body down to rest his head on his chest. He slowly stroked Michael’s feather between his fingers. He doidn;t move from that position for an hour and a half, listening to Michael’s breathing become more and more labored and his heart rate monitor beep slower and slower. 

Then there was a long buzzing sound and Michael’s chest stops moving. 

Lucifer immediately lifted his head up.

“Michael?” He said, shaking his shoulders. “Michael?!” _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He remembers screaming, fighting, crying, and that was it. Darkness.   
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He awoke to the feel of a soft bed beneath him. Defiantly not a hospital bed. 

“Michael.”

He felt someone run a hand through his hair. “Shh, go back to sleep, Lucifer.”

“Sam?”

“You’re okay. You’re here at our house. You, you really scared the hell out of everyone at the hospital. You were, almost rabid. You attacked anyone who came near….you.” 

“I….I….Michael. He….” Lucifer’s eyes start to well up. 

Sam places something in his hand. A feather. Michael’s feather. There was a little prick in his arm.

“Wha…?” Lucifer started to feel woozy. Sam continued to run a hand threw his hair until the darkness took him again.


	13. The Thing About Heats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> Non-con, Hand jobs, Blow jobs, and BDSM.   
> The pairing this chapter are Crowley/Castiel, and Crowley/Castiel/Gabriel.

Gabriel was awoken at about three in the morning to a wail of severe anguish. Gabriel jumped out of bed and ran over to Cas. Tears were streaming down Castiel’s face, loud sobs coming from his throat. His sheets were absolutely drenched in wing oil and slick. His skin was hot to the touch.

“Oh, no no no no. Not now. You’re way to young for this,” Gabriel whispered to himself, taking Castiel in his arms and cradling him to his chest. “Shh, you’re okay. It’s gonna be alright.” 

Castiel rubbed himself against Gabriel, pressing his hard member against Gabriel’s thigh, trying to get any amount of relief. 

Gabriel knew the feeling. That deep ache inside you that you just can’t get relieved. The hot wetness all over you that you just can’t cool down from. But worst of all, an ache deep in your chest to mate. Except Gabriel was a alpha and Cas seemed to be presenting as an omega. 

Castiel let out another pained cry.

“What in the hell are you two doing?” Crowley said, storming into the room, looking utterly pissed. Shit. Fergus. 

“No-Nothing, Cas just had a nightmares all,” Gabriel rushed out. Fergus stalked slowly toward the two angels. Gabriel backed up until his back hit the wall. Fergus reached out and pulled Cas from Gabriel’s arms. Gabriel made a frantic grab to pull him back, but Fergus already had the withering angel in his arms. 

Fergus had a wicked gleam in his eye as a smirk crossed over his lips. “Well, well, well. Looks like the little babe’s in heat.”

Castiel pressed his body against Crowley’s, slowly thrusting himself against Crowley’s thigh, little moans of pain coming from his lips. 

“Well, we can take care of this easily. Gabriel, you can come too,” Fergus said, no room for debate. Gabriel was hoping he could keep Fergus’ attention on him until Crowley could get through again. He did not want Fergus mating his poor virgin brother while he was unable to consent. 

Fergus carried Castiel into his room, Gabriel following close behind. Gabriel’s heart pounded in his ears and his breathing became ragged as he entered Crowley’s room. Flashs of pain, and little clips of forgotten memory came slamming into him as he stepped into the room, events from last time he wasin here. 

Fergus laid Castiel down on the bed who cried at the loss of contact. “Shh, little angel.” Fergus cooed pulling something out of his bedside table drawer. 

Gabriel heard the snap of handcuffs as he as he put one around the bed post and the other around Castiel’s wrist. 

“Fergus! Stop!” Gabriel said grabbing the man by the arms pushing him away from his brother. There no way he was going to let Fergus do the same thing he had done to him to his baby. Fergus back handed him across the face so hard that Gabriel tasted blood in his mouth. Castiel let out a terrified chirp and pulled against the cuffs with his free hand. 

Gabriel tackled Fergus to the ground, landing a firm punch to his jaw. Gabriel didn’t want to hurt Crowley, but he would protect his fledgling at all costs. Fergus dug his fingers into Gabriel’s downy feathers and pulled as hard as he could. Gabriel cried out and fell off of Fergus as he pulled out two large patches of feathers. Gabriel gasped out, trying to catch his breath from the searing pain in his wings. 

The last thing he remembered after that was Fergus’s boot connecting with his head. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Castiel was absolutely shrieking at the top of his lungs. Gabriel’s first instinct was to tell him to be quiet, his head hurt so bad he literally thought it might explode. Gabriel lifted his head slowly, his vision blurry. He felt something heavy around his neck. A shock collar? Everything suddenly came rushing back to Gabriel and he quickly made to stand. He could barely move a few inches off the armchair that he had been handcuffed to on both sides. 

He whipped his head to look over at the bed, temporarily causing his vision to white out with pain. Castiel was completely naked, spread out across Crowley’s bed. Fergus had Castiel’s cock in his hand, stroking it slowly. A black cock ring was secured at the base of his shaft to keep him from coming. No wonder Cas was screaming, by the way the lighting had changed in the room it looked as if Fergus had been at it for a long time. Crowley moves his lips slowly over Castiel’s as if breathing in his screams.   
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Castiel was confused. He didn’t understand the warm feeling in the pit of his stomach or the way Crowley moved his lips against his. It was odd. Unfamiliar. His heart fluttered a bit, but he leaned into the kiss. There was so much pain, the way Crowley touched him down there. Castiel’s whole body ached. His wings were wet and he was losing feathers. His penis hurt so bad he wondered if it was possible for it to fall off. There was something wet running down his legs and an aching deep in his butt. But the worst was a painful feeling in his chest, something he couldn’t quiet describe, but made him want to cry even more than he already was. He dared to glance at his brother, whose face was a sickly white.

Fergus looked over towards Gabriel who finally had awoke after about an hour. "Gabriel, why don’t you and I trade places, considering how much more interested he is in you," Fergus said with an evil smirk.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Gabriel’s eyes grew wide as Fergus stalked over toward him. 

Gabriel shook his head (which was a monumentally terrible idea) in protest. “No! No! I won’t do that to him.”

A sudden shock ran through his whole body as he jerked, his body going numb for a few seconds. He gasped for breath when Fergus took his finger off the button for the shock collar.

“I wasn’t asking.”

Fergus uncuffed him from the chair and pushed him onto the bed next to Castiel. Fergus took Gabriel’s now empty seat. He began to unbutton his pants.

“Well go on,” Fergus said, making a hand gesture between the two of them. 

Gabriel looked down at his fledgling. So wrong. Everything about it. Gabriel felt like throwing up, jumping out the window, screaming, anything but this. He promised to raise and protect Castiel, not…..not do this! 

Gabriel’s hand hovered over Castiel’s chest, unsure of what Fergus wanted him to do. 

“Kiss him.” 

Gabriel took in a sharp breath. Castiel was looking up at him with wet eyes, they begged him to make the pain stop. A tear came to Gabriel’s eye. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered softly in Enochian. He placed a hand on the side of Cas’ face and leaned in to press his mouth against Castiel’s. Castiel kissed back hungrily, not really caring who gave him his release at this point. Gabriel shut his eye’s tight pretending it was anyone else but the person beneath him. 

“Touch him.” Fergus said softly, and Gabriel knew exactly what he meant. Gabriel heard the rustling of Fergus’s clothes and it didn’t take much imagination to figure out what he was doing. 

Gabriel rested his hand on the flat of Castiel’s stomach, feeling just a tiny bit of pubic hair where stomach met groin. With another sharp intake of breath, Gabriel grasped Castiel’s member in his hand and start to pump his shaft vigorously. Castiel yelped and moved away from Gabriel’s kiss, trying to move out of his painful touch completely. He heard Fergus moan softly and the sound of him…..Gabriel let out a full body shiver refusing to look at Fergus or Castiel. He kept his eyes closed and tried to think of anything else. He didn’t know how long Fergus made him pleasure Castiel, if that was what you could call it with the way Castiel was shrieking, but it felt like an eternity before Fergus spoke again. 

“Take the ring off of him and finish him with your mouth,” Fergus said, out of breath as he continued to stroke himself. 

Gabriel quickly took the cock ring off Castiel’s overly engorged cock. He didn’t even thing before put his mouth on Castiel, only wanting to stop his pain. It took no more than a few seconds for Castiel to scream at the top of his lungs and come down Gabriel’s throat. Gabriel had no choice but to swallow the salty fluid. 

He heard Fergus let out a long moan and the sound of skin on skin stopped. Gabriel gagged and quickly raced to the bathroom a few feet away. His head throbbed dangerously as he emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Gabriel stood on shaky feet, his vision blurring fast. He tried to take a step forward but he stumbled forward and hit his head on the bathroom floor. His whole world exploded in a bright light of pain before going black again. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Gabriel came around slowly. His head hurt worse than any pain he had ever experienced. His grace swirled painfully in the pit of his stomach making him sit up quickly as bile rose in his throat. A plastic container was thrust under his chin just in time for Gabriel to puke into it. After Gabriel was sure he had emptied the contents of his stomach completely he slowly pushed, what he now realized as a trashcan, away. Someone removed it from his lap and gently pushed him back onto a mound of soft of pillows. The person placed something cold against his forehead and then placed his hand over it to apply a little comfort. Gabriel opened his eyes a crack but quickly slammed them back as what minimal light in the room made his head hurt worse. 

“Where…. Where am I?” Gabriel asked as softly as he possibly could.

“Shh, your safe. Everything’s okay,” said a familiar voice.

“Sam?”

“Yeah. Go back to sleep.”

Gabriel’s eyes snapped open. “Cas!” he said, ignoring the pain the light caused as he sat up, making his stomach roll. Sam gently pushed him back down. 

“Hey, hey! He’s okay. Dean has him at our house, he’s got him on some heavy sedatives. He’s going to keep him asleep until you can find him a mate. After you hit your head it put Crowley back in the driver’s seat. He called us to take you both out of there so he couldn’t do anything else.” 

Gabriel had tears in his eyes. “I…I.” He didn’t know what to say. Thank you? That he had hurt Castiel? Emotions mixed around in his head as he tried to process everything at once. He let out a soft cry and raised both hands to clutch at his head. Sam gently moved him so he was laying flat on the bed again, head cushioned on a mound of soft pillows. Sam replaced the cold pad on his head.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to think about Cas right now. He’s going to be okay until you’re ready to find him a mate. You have a bad concussion. We had to stitch up the back of your head. You had some brain swelling for a little while there, we thought we were going to have to operate on you. I’m going to give you some pain medication, it’ll help you sleep.”

“How long have a been out for?” he asked as he squinted his eyes to watch Sam inject something into his IV. 

“About two days. It was pretty bad.” Sam rested a hand on Gabriel’s stomach. His grace seemed to calm slightly at the touch. Gabriel closed his eyes again.

“Gabriel, there is one more thing I have to tell you.”

“Uh-hu,” Gabe muttered feeling the drugs pulling him under.

“You’re pregnant.”


	14. A New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's been almost a year since I updated. I am SO sorry. I never meant for this chapter to take this long. I tried to answer as many of your comments as possible when they came in. (I wasn't logged in sometimes but I put my username on everything I commented.) 
> 
> The next chapter will not take this long. I was having a hard time deciding where I wanted to go with this story, but now I've finally figured it out. 
> 
> Thank you for your patience, so here it is. The long awaited chapter 14. Enjoy!

Crowley threw the offending objects across the room and into the black garbage bag. Whips, handcuffs, shock collars, leashes, and other items of Fergus’ were shoved deep down into the bottom of the black bag. Tears streamed down Crowley’s face and sobs came from his mouth as he angrily threw out everything Fergus had bought and acquired during the last few years.  
He wasn't going to let his angels get hurt anymore. He should have thrown them all out months ago. He combed the house from top to bottom for almost two hours, ending with two heaping trash bags full and tied triple knot closed.  
He collapsed frustratedly against the wall in the entry way, which was now showing the first rays of morning sun. Exhaustion took hold quickly, sending Crowley into a fitful sleep.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

It was a smoky place, not really here or there, just a place in his mind. A place he usually avoided, but not tonight.  
“How could you do this? Why?” Crowley yelled.  
Fergus looked up, unimpressed at Crowley’s outburst. He smirked. “Because I wanted to.”  
“This is the last time I’m letting you hurt anyone. You’re a hateful, sadistic person and I don’t need you!”  
Fergus stood up and walked over to Crowley, placing a hand on the back of his neck. “Yes you do. Don’t you remember when you were little and you begged for someone else to take your place? And I was there for you and I took over for you because I was stronger, and I could deal with it for you. Are you strong enough to survive on your own? Huh?”  
Fergus tilted his head, gently pulling Crowley closer until his head rested on Fergus’s shoulder.  
They were both silent for a long while.  
“I don’t need you anymore. I can be strong enough on my own.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

“Crowley!”  
Crowley practically jumped out of his skin at the loud yell. His eyes flew open and he immediately reached out his hands to defend himself. His palms collided against a solid chest. Crowley looked up to see Sam leaning over him. Sam grabbed his wrists gently and just held his hands there.  
“You with me?”  
Crowley nodded slowly. Sam stood and gently pulled Crowley up with him. Crowley’s whole body felt numb and weak.  
“I gotcha,” Sam said quietly  
“Are they okay?”  
Sam shrugged. “Cas will be alright. We have him on some medication to keep his heat at bay until he can find a mate. Gabe…. He has swelling in his brain. It’s bad Crowley.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Crowley stared blankly out the window as the front of the hospital came into view. Sam shot a look his way, but Crowley didn’t notice, too caught up in his own thoughts. It was almost if Crowley was watching the whole scene from outside his body. He could see himself, head partially pressed against the glass of the window, distorted image of the hospital passing over the glass, as a sad and anxious expression was etched across his face. Like he was viewing a movie and not his life. He couldn’t believe this was happening again. It felt exactly the same.  
A rape, a near deadly assault, and another baby that wasn’t meant to be.  
“Have I ever told you I’m sorry?”  
Sam scoffed. “About a million times.” Sam pulled into a parking spot and stopped the engine.  
Crowley was so lost in his own thought he hadn’t even noticed. “I should have done this a long time ago.”  
Sam sat silently, neither agreeing or disagreeing.  
“I’m sorry I waited this long. And I’m sorry I left you this burden.”  
Sam was quiet for a minute before speaking. “You didn’t know what was going on with you when you did what you did to me. I will never blame you for that. And Amelia has never been a burden, so don’t even think that. She was the best thing that came out of this whole fucked up situation. And the fact that you realize you NEED to do this for Gabriel and Cas. And that you’re willing to step up and do this for this next child…” Sam trailed off. He hadn’t realized how close he’d gotten to Crowley. He was leaning over the center of the seats, his face inches from Crowley’s. He looked down but didn’t move away. “I’m glad you’re doing this.”  
Crowley looked down as well. “If this works, and I’m really….really ME again, will you let me…. I want to…. I should be there for Amelia. I want her to know I’m her father.”  
The next thing Crowley knew he was being pressed hard against the window, Sam’s lips pressing hard against his. Crowley lifted a hand and buried it near the roots of Sam’s hair, pulling him in closer. And almost as soon as it had happened, Sam pulled back, barely, but their lips were no longer touching.  
Their gazes locked.  
“I would want nothing more,” Sam muttered softly. Then he laughed and looked down. “Why the fuck do I keep letting myself get sucked back into you?”  
Crowley smiled and let out a shaky laugh. “Maybe because you’re just as crazy as me.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

“…..about three days in my experience. We use hypnosis and try to get the two personalities to integrate. Of course, the therapy doesn’t work unless the patient wants the personalities to integrate, which is why we didn’t do it earlier.” The doctor explained to Sam. Crowley tuned out what the doctor was saying, remembering what had happened the last time she had tried to explain the therapy to him.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

“Did you ever think maybe he doesn’t want to be rid of me? Did that thought even cross your narrow minded little brain?” Fergus asked Dr. Riley, his voice picking up a slightly menacing tone.  
“Do you see where your actions have put him? Do you forget where YOU are? In a maximum security mental facility for criminals. You beat and raped someone. Someone close to him,” Dr. Riley said calmly.  
Fergus leaned back in his chair and a small smile crossed his face. “Crowley should thank me. He was only going to hurt him. I know how it goes.”  
“Like his sister hurt him, and you?”  
Fergus was across the room like a flash, the only sound in the room was the rustling of scrubs as he crossed the floor. Dr. Riley let out a small gasp as Fergus pinned her to her chair and leaned in close to her face.  
His whisper was threatening, menacing. “You ever mention her again, and I’ll rip your throat out with my teeth.”  
Fergus backed off just as she hit the alarm button.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

“….Crowley? Are you okay?” Dr. Riley asked quietly.  
Crowley snapped his head up and nodded. “Yeah, Yeah. I’m fine. So, three days?”  
She shrugged. “It’s an estimate. An average, really. Could be more or less. It’s mostly up to how long it takes for you to process the actions and emotions of the things Fergus has been handling for you. And how long it takes to break him down and get him to integrate with your primary personality.”  
Crowley was quiet for a moment, then nodded. “I’m ready.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Sam hugged Crowley tightly to him, Crowley holding just as tightly to Sam.  
“This is, kind of terrifying,” Sam observed quietly. They were in a long, bare concrete corridor. There was a few stretchers with restraints on them pressed against the wall.  
Crowley laughed softly. “Not as terrifying as actually coming in on one of those things.”  
“Not just that. Them locking you up in a room like that again, and….”  
“Sam,” Crowley said, pulling away a little. “I’m here on my own will this time. And this time, I’m actually hopeful I’ll get out of here one hundred percent me, and only me. And…. It will all be for the better. For everyone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and being patient with me! Reviews are my life! You can also follow the link in the description to my tumblr blog specifically for this fan fic for updates and little side notes.


	15. Reunited

Gabriel woke to a hard pain in the back of his neck and his forehead. His eyes flew open to see Sam in front of him, one hand on Gabriel’s forehead, one hand pulling his collar as for forward as he could. 

“Don’t. Move,” Sam whispered, looking him right in the eyes. A short spasm of panic ran through Gabriel as Sam rubbed a small amount of oil on the part of the collar farthest from his skin. Holy Oil. 

“Sam,” Gabriel shuttered out.

“Trust me,” Sam said quietly as he brought a match up to a striker tapped onto a metal table. The sound of the match igniting shook Gabriel to his core. He began to shake as Sam touch the match to the oil on his collar. As soon as the oil lit, Sam quickly put a hand on either side of the burning collar part and pulled as hard as he could. Gabriel felt the heat of the fire against his neck and shook violently. There was a sudden and snap and then there was cool liquid being poured across his neck. 

Gabriel gasped as he felt his Grace move through out every part of his body, completely untapped and uninhibited. All the pain left his head and every small ache throughout his body relieved itself before it all retreated back to his stomach, stirring violently. Gabriel sat up quickly, reaching out for something to throw up in. Sam was already ready for this and placed a trash bin under Gabriel chin just as Gabriel was violently sick. After a few minutes of gasping and heaving, Gabriel finally lifted his head up and passed the bin back to Sam, hands shaking slightly. Gabriel finally looked around at his surroundings. The room was tiny. The most obviously strange feature was that every inch of the walls was some type of metal, sigils engraved into almost every inch of it. There was a cabinet on one wall a small metal table with tools on it, and the bed Gabriel was laying on. 

“What…What the hell is this?” Gabriel asked, out of breath. 

“It’s a special room we designed to be able for angels to heal themselves without the government knowing. This room makes it seem like a collar is on an angel, even if it’s not. I would have done it sooner, but I couldn’t risk Fergus potentially exposing us collar-cutting,” Sam explained. 

“And he won’t now? Where the hell is he? How the fuck did I get here?” Gabriel asked. 

“Shh, relax. Don’t work yourself up,” Sam said softly. “Do you remember waking up a day ago?”

“What? No, I don’t remember anything except for…Cas! Where is Cas?!” 

Gabriel was ready to get out of the bed before Sam caught his arm and stopped.

“Will you please lay back down and listen to me. Everything is okay, I promise,” Sam said looking him in the eyes. Gabriel took a deep breath and laid back down. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. 

“Cas?”

“He’s at our house with Dean. We have him on a seven day IV to suppress his heat for the next two weeks. He’ll be completely unconscious for at least another two or three days. It’ll give you enough time to help him find a mate.”

Gabriel gave a small nod. “Okay…okay.”

“You hit your head on a counter and it knocked you unconscious for two days. It shoved Crowley back into control and he called us to come get you.”

“Where is he?” Gabriel asked quietly. Sam sat down on the side of Gabriel’s bed. 

“He checked himself in to his psychiatric hospital for intense integration therapy. He’s going to get rid of Fergus for good. He’s doing it for you and Cas. He didn’t want to hurt you anymore.”

“Wow,” Gabriel muttered softly, staring up at the ceiling. “How long?” 

“They said about three days. Possibly more.”

Gabriel felt a sudden surge of Grace through his stomach. Gabriel grasped his stomach with a groan. 

“I suppose you don’t remember that either.” 

Gabriel looked up at Sam, sudden realization running through him. 

“Oh god! Oh fuck! I’m pregnant. I have to be the throwing up and the fatigue. Fuck, fuck, fuck! No! How many weeks estimated?”

“About three?”

“I’m almost already halfway due?! Holy shit. This is insane!”

Angel pregnancies only lasted about two months. They had a gestation rate equal to about five days of every one day of human pregnancy. 

“I can’t have a baby, I already have Cas who depends on me, oh God. ..” Gabriel clutched his hands in his hair, eyes opened wide as he stared at the ceiling. 

“Hey,” Sam said quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not going to be alone in this.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Dean walked into Castiel and Lucifer’s room to check on them both. Dean was not expecting the sight he saw. Lucifer had his whole body and wings wrapped around the unconscious angel, hand running in what seemed to be amazement down the little angel’s face. 

“Lucifer?”

“His name.”

“What?”

Lucifer looked up at Dean with sightless eyes. “Please, just I need to know.”

“Castiel?”

Lucifer’s whole body shook and he wrapped himself impossibly tighter around the little angel. Dean couldn’t be sure but he was almost positive he heard a small sob. 

“It’s been so god damn long.” Lucifer muttered. 

“You know him?”

Lucifer smiled. “My grand fledgling. My son’s son.”

Gabriel felt like he had been hit in the chest. Lucifer had been through one of the worst possible things in his life, and now, he might have just found his family.

“Gabriel..” Dean breathed out.

Lucifer’s head shot of the pillow like a rocket and the next thing he knew the angel was standing in front of him. 

“How did you know that?”

“I…I know where he is.”

“Dean, I swear to everything, if you’re fucking with me, I will tear you apart where you stand.” Lucifer said, voice cold and yet hopeful. 

Dean took a step back. “They were bought together. I know exactly where he is.”

Lucifer’s face seemed to break and tears streamed down his face. Lucifer wrapped his arms around himself, grin stretching from ear to ear as he cried and let out a watery laugh. 

Dean heard the front door open and close. “Speak of the devil.”

Dean gently took Lucifer’s elbow and led him down the stairs. Gabriel was taking off his shoes in the entryway and looked up to see who had entered the room. He looked down to finish taking his boots of then looked back up suddenly. 

“Lucifer?” Gabriel whispered, shock and disbelief obvious in that one word. 

“Gabriel?” Lucifer said softly, also unbelievingly. 

The next thing Dean knew the two angel’s were tangled together in an unbreakable hug. 

Sam looked up at Dean puzzled. 

“Tell you later,” He mouthed to his brother over the sound of the two crying angels.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gabriel grasped Lucifer as tightly as he could, and Lucifer did the same. 

Gabriel couldn’t hold back the sob that had unknowingly crept into his throat. 

“I have to be dreaming.” Lucifer said softly. 

Gabriel gave a shaky laugh, tasting his own tears as he did so. “Then we both must be.”

And it was in that single moment, that simple embrace, that he knew he could concur whatever came next, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while. The muse for the last part of this chapter just kind of hit me while i was out smoking and listening to my music. I'll add the song to my playlist.  
> I hope you guys like it and I always love to read your reviews!


	16. Some Kind of Different Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexy times in this chapter.

Crowley looked completely different. He was folded over on himself, shaking slightly. His face was pale and he looked ready to pass out. But when his doctor rested her hand on his shoulder and looked up at her and smiled like he hadn’t in years. Sam hardly remembered seeing it, but he knew he had. It was pure happiness and adoration. It was everything Crowley was before Fergus completely took over his life. His smile widened even more when he seen Sam approach. Sam had keep himself from falling over his own feet in his rush to see him. 

His doctor looked up to where Crowley was looking and she smiled as well. 

“Well, it took a little longer than we thought..”

Five days to be exact. 

“but we think he’s successfully integrated the personalities.” 

It was Sam’s turn to smile. “So, how do you feel?” Sam asked Crowley.

“Um.. A little foggy. My internal timeline is a little screwed up…I remember all the important stuff but some of its mixed up. And, my emotions are a little…unstable.” He said honestly, a slight frown crossing his lips. 

“Hey, that’s all to be expected,” His doctor said encouragingly. “It’ll all work itself out with a little time. You just need to remember to let the emotions flow as they come. The most important part to healing now is dealing with these new emotions that Fergus has been holding from you. And it looks like you have someone who’s willing to help you through this. It won’t be forever.”

She gave his shoulder a squeeze and handed him a prescription bag. “These are for anxiety and trouble sleeping. Just take one or two if you start to feel really emotional. It’ll help with the intensity but it shouldn't hold it back completely.”

“Thank you,” he muttered quietly. 

Sam watched the exchange with worried curiosity. Hopefully Crowley would explain more later. 

“Hey,” Sam said, prompting the two to look up towards him. “I uh…I thought you’d probably need these.” Sam held up a pile of Crowley’s jacket, hat, and gloves. 

“Oh right,” Crowley muttered, almost detached. “It snowed last night.”

“All your paperwork is done for your release, so you’re good to go,” his doctor said, almost a bit anxiously. 

“Thank you, for everything.” Crowley whispered, looking up at her with wide eyes. 

“You did all the work. I just helped,” She blushed. “Good luck, Crowley.” And with that Crowley and Sam were alone. 

“Come on, let’s go home,” Sam exclaimed, holding up Crowley’s winter wear.   
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Crowley leaned forward on concrete barrier of the top floor of the care park, looking at the people below walk around in the snow. He felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Sam just behind him, before looking away quickly. 

The top lot was pretty much empty, considering no one wanted their car out in the snow. 

“You want to talk?” Sam asked. It sound distant to Crowley. 

“How can you even look at me?” 

“What do you mean?”

“I can see your fucking face that night. You’re begging me to stop. I can’t even recognize you, and you’re just fucking lying there like you’re dead until I flip you over and I…. And then you start crying and it just made me angrier and bashed your head into the damn floor. And I there’s so much blood, and I actually think you’re dead when I leave the room. And how can you even fucking look at me?!” Crowley’s crying hysterically at this point, a mix of anger, pain, and disgust. 

Sam wraps him arms around Crowley and traps him against his body. Crowley tries to arch his back into Sam’s stomach and pry his hands of his chest before giving up and just letting himself be held. 

“I mean it was all over nothing. I was insecure and jealous and I almost killed. What kind of monster does that make me,” Crowley hyperventilated, words erratic and almost unintelligible. 

“Breathe with me,” Sam whispered for the first time since Crowley’s outburst. It took almost fifteen minutes for Crowley to deescalate the cascade of tears and return to normal breathing. Only then did Sam turn Crowley around in his arms and cup his face gently in his gloved hands. 

“I forgive you. For all you did. You weren’t in your right mind. I don’t know why Fergus did what he did to me, or what happened that made you need to have him around in the first place. It doesn’t fucking matter. I do not blame you for that night. Do you understand me? I forgive you.”

Silent tears streamed heavy down Crowley’s face. “Fergus, he-“

Sam placed a finger over his lips. “We can save that story for another day. I’m alive, and I might be a little worse for wear but I’m here. And that’s what matters. And I can forgive you, then you should be able to forgive yourself.”

Crowley looked up at Sam with watery eyes for a moment before wrapping his arms tightly around Sam in a hard hug. Sam hugged back just as hard. The two men stood that for a long while before pulling apart. 

Crowley whipped his hands across his eyes. “I don’t deserve forgiveness.”

Sam placed a hand under Crowley’s chin, forcing him to look Sam in the eye. “I say you do.” Sam slipped a hand around Crowley’s waist before covering Crowley’s mouth with his. Crowley hesitated for a few moments before resting one hand on Sam’s hip and the other on his shoulder.   
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Crowley’s hair was mussed and a thin sheen of sweat covered his whole body as Sam pushed himself into Crowley’s pliant body. They had pulled off onto a small mostly unknown road that led to a small forest surrounded field they had discovered in their college years. 

Sam hit his head on the car roof letting out a small groan of both pleasure and pain. 

“Damn, I’m way too big for this,” Sam panted out.

Crowley shuddered out a low moan as Sam hit a particularly pleasant spot inside him. 

“Sa-Sam!” Crowley moaned digging his nails into the man’s hips. Sam gave a shaky laugh. 

“That the spot, baby?”

Crowley nodded vigorously. Sam sped up his thrusts, hitting Crowley’s sweet spot with each one. Crowley raked his hands down Sam’s back, trying to get traction among their sweat. He finally gave up and tossed his arm over the front seat head rest and holding onto the small space between it and the actual seat. 

Sam groaned loudly when Crowley reached down between their bodies and gave Sam’s balls a small squeeze before grasping his own cock and jerking it in time to Sam’s thrusts. 

Sam felt pleasure begin to coil in his loins, making him thrust harder. The car was symphony or moans, grunts, and gasps for about ten minutes before Crowley broke it with a garbled;

“Sam, I’m gonna- gonna come!”

“Fuck, me too. It’s been too long.”

“Shit, you’d better get on your back,” Crowley breathed out. 

“Yeah,” Sam muttered before pulling completely out of Crowley. There was a minute or so of fumbling in the back seat as Sam laid down and Crowley startled his hips, slowly sinking down onto Sam’s cock and riding him. 

“Oh fuck Crowley.”

Crowley let out a loud gasp and gripped Sam’s shoulders as he came hard between their bodies. Crowley’s movements became fast and erratic and he fucked himself through his orgasm. 

“Crowley…I’m gonna…I,” Sam barley managed to gasp out. 

“It’s okay, I’ve gotcha,” Crowley panted out. “Come on.”

A few more of Crowley’s erratic hip movements later and Sam went completely stiff, his orgasm washing powerfully over him before all his muscles locked up and he was unable to move.   
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Crowley could tell immediately when Sam hit orgasm. His whole body when completely stiff and rigid. Crowley quickly pulled himself off of Sam with a small wince and kneeled in the foot well next to Sam. A harsh sound passed Sam’s lips. 

“I know, It’s okay,” Crowley said softly. Sam’s face began to turn blue. About thirty seconds later Sam took a large intake of air before his body began to jerk and spasm. Crowley put his watch back on and quickly checked the time before returning his attention to Sam. He rolled his jacket into a ball and placed it under Sam’s head. It was about two and half minutes before the jerking stopped and Sam lay still. Crowley checked his watch again. Three and a half minutes in total. He quickly turned Sam onto his side and used the blanket they had laid out on the back seat to cover Sam’s lower half. 

Ever since Fergus had beaten Sam in his dorm room, Sam had post coital tonic-clonic seizures. Crowley looked at him sadly, knowing he was the reason Sam now had to take extra precautions during sex and could never really enjoy a normal orgasm.   
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Sam woke slowly, his whole head groggy. He opened his eyes to see a shirtless Crowley sitting in front of him. 

“Wha-“

“Shh, it’s okay.”

“Huhh..uh..” Sam rolled his head to the side, his neck listless. 

“Hey, can you tell me your name?”

“Uhhhhh.”

“I know you’re tired. Come on. Your name.”

“Nahhh..”

“Ok, what’s my name?” 

Sam’s eyes rolled up to look at Crowley. 

“Cuhhhh.”

“Good enough. You know what just happened?”

“Uhhhhm.”

“I know, I know. Can you tell me?”

“Seizuuuuu.”

“Yeah. You’re okay.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Twenty minutes later:

Crowley gently helped Sam sit up as he carefully pulled his underwear back on. 

Sam propped himself up on his arm then looked at himself in confusion. He was obviously naked and covered in a blanket. 

“Wha happen?” 

“You had a seizure.”

“Where my clothes off for that?” Sam slurred groggily, laying back down. 

“We were having sex, then you had a seizure. “

Sam smiled. “Oh, no clothes.” 

“Yep.” 

It took Sam a minute to think of what to say next.

“Awesome.”

Crowley smirked. “The seizure or the sex?”

Sam let out a small noise that sounded like a laugh and flopped his arm at Crowley. “Sex.”

“Hey, just making sure, cause you didn’t even remember a few minutes ago.” 

The image of Crowley atop of Sam, riding him, played in Sam’s mind. “Do now. Just….Sleepy.”

“That’s okay. Let’s get you dressed and then we’ll go home and you can take a nap.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Sam was sleepy and wobbly on his feet. Crowley wrapped his arm around his waist. 

“Hey. Hey. Since when are you a power bottom?” Sam asked almost as if he was drunk. 

Crowley shrugged. “Since now.”

“I…I like it.” 

“Calm down. Do you want you want your brother to kill me?” 

Sam looked a bit startled. “No, why would he do that?” 

“Never mind, it’s okay Sammy. Let’s just get you a nap.” 

They stumbled through the front door of the Winchester house only to be greeted with Dean and John sitting at the kitchen table. 

“Dad.” 

Sam tripped forward and almost knocked John off his chair. 

“Whoa. You okay there Sam?” 

“What the hell is up with you?” Dean asked skeptically, shooting a glance at Crowley. 

Crowley rubbed the back of his neck, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. “He had a seizure.”

John shot him a nasty look and Dean just stayed silent. 

“Come on Sam,” John said standing up, and helping his wobbly youngest straighten up before leading him down the hall. 

Dean calmly turned and looked at Crowley with an unreadable emotion on his face. “Your angels are upstairs. Maybe you should spend more time taking care of your own shit instead of fucking up Sam’s.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and I plan on getting the next one out this month. My muse has been on the run lately. :) 
> 
> I really enjoy your reviews!
> 
> Lots of Love  
> ~July Falconeri


	17. Amends

Crowley heard a loud shriek of laughter from upstairs. His heart seemed to shrink into his gut. He looked towards Dean again. Dean just raised an eyebrow at him. Crowley let out a loud breathe and headed for the stairs.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     
  
Lucifer cradled Gabriel in his arms, hands still unconsciously falling to Gabriel’s stomach.  “I can’t believe your having a baby.”  
               

“I already HAVE a baby to take care of,” Gabriel said with a little sigh. Castiel had woken up late yesterday and seemed to be doing fine now. “I’ve got to find him a suitable mate in two weeks before these drugs kick off. And if not a mate, at least an angel he likes.”  
               

Castiel let out another wave of laughter as Amelia began to tickle the base of his wings again. The two of them had made quick friends and had been playing around most of the time, except for the occasional cuddles with Lucifer and Gabriel.   
               

“Wish I could see him.”  
               

Gabriel reached a hand down to his stomach where Lucifer was resting his hand and entwined their fingers together.  “Me too.”  
               

Amelia laughed as Castiel licked her cheek. “Ew!”   
               

Gabriel smiled. “He’s so big now. I was just so stupid.”  
               

“Hey,” Lucifer said sternly. “You managed to evade capture way longer than any of us did. You were smart, and you kept him safe for longer than I could keep both of you safe. I’m proud of you. And ….and Michael would have been too.”  
               

A quiet sadness washed over the two. One mourning the loss of a parent, the other , a partner.   
               

Gabriel nuzzled his head into Lucifer’s neck. “I wish I could’ve said goodbye.”  
               

“He was so sick Gabriel. I was surprised he even recognized me at the end. I couldn’t see t and it was still the most horrifying thing I’d ever felt. I’m... I’m honestly glad you didn’t have to see him like that.”  
               

Gabriel tried to be strong and keep his tears at bay, but it was hard.  
               

“I’m glad you’re here now.”  
               

“Me too, baby. Me too.” Gabriel felt a wetness on top of head and knew Lucifer was crying too.   
               

Gabriel didn’t realize Cas was watching them until he had a lapful of the little angel wrapping his small wings around the two older angels.   
               

“ _It’s okay Cas_ ,” Lucifer muttered in Enochian. Gabriel heard the little angel let out a small cry. He held him tighter to him.   
               

“Did I do something wrong?” Amelia asked, shifting on her feet.   
               

“No honey,” Gabriel said quietly. “We had a friend…that’s gone and we’re all a little sad.”  
               

“My Grandma is gone too. Daddy and Uncle Dean were sad like you.”  
               

“Amelia, sweetie, how about you go to your room for a little bit. When Cas if feeling better, he’ll come back and play.”  
               

Amelia nodded and left to go to her room.   
               

The three angels cried and mourned.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     
  
Crowley looked in on the three angels huddled together. He didn’t know the oldest one but he suspected it was someone they knew. He only hoped he wasn’t the reason for their tears. After a while, he mustered up what was left of his courage and knocked on the door.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------    
  
All three looked up to the cracked open door. Castiel let out a nervous baulk and backed away into the corner. Lucifer picked up on the tension and growled at the person at the door.  
               

“No, it’s okay,” Gabriel said quickly, standing and pulling Lucifer up with him. “Just, take Cas and go pla with Amelia.”  
               

“Who is it, Gabriel?” Lucifer asked, still staring at the unknown darkness in the direction he thought was the door.   
               

“Lucifer, please.”  
               

“I’m not leaving you here alone with him after what he’s done!” Lucifer exclaimed, barring his teeth at the man they called Crowley.   
               

“I promise I’ll  call for you if I need something. Just take Cas, he’s scared.” Gabriel pleaded not wanting to put any more stress on Cas then Gabriel himself was already feeling. Crowley stood silently in the door, waiting for the little family to decide on what to do.   
               

Lucifer waited for a long moment before squeezing Gabriel’s hand. “Promise?”  
               

“Promise.”  
               

Lucifer sighed. “ _Come here, Cas._ ” Lucifer said softly in Enochian, coaxing the little angel into his arms. Lucifer made to leave with Cas but smacked his head against the door frame on his way out. The angel cursed and rubbed his forehead.   
               

“Are you okay?” Crowley asked, reaching out to steady the angel. The angel quickly stepped back.   
               

“Don’t touch me. That goes for Gabriel and Castiel too. Or I swear I will rip your throat out with my teeth.”   
               

Crowley balked a bit at the anger of the angel, Lucifer, was it?   
               

“Lucifer!” Gabriel confirmed exasperatedly.   
               

“I’m going,” he said hotly before correcting himself and leaving Crowley and Gabriel alone.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------    
  
Crowley and Gabriel stood awkwardly for a moment before Gabriel broke the silence.   
                  
“Sorry about him. That’s my nurturer, Lucifer.”  
                  
Crowley sat on the bed across from where Gabriel was standing before answering him. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from the angel who raised you.” He looked up at Gabriel with a small, sad smile.  
                  
Gabriel hesitantly sat down on the second bed.   
                  
“Um everything okay with you and, the,” He made a vague hand motion towards Gabriel’s now clearly pregnant stomach. “now?”   
                  
Gabriel nodded. “Yeah, we’re okay.”  
                  
“Cas is scared of me.” Crowley stated sadly. Not that he expected anything less.   
                  
Gabriel shrugged. “He’ll come around.”  
                  
“And he’s okay?”  
                  
“For now.”  
                  
“For now?”  
                  
“Sam put him on some drug to suppress his heat for a few weeks so I can find him a mate.”  
                  
Crowley nodded, vaguely remembering Sam telling him something of the sorts.  
                  
The two sat in silence again for a few minutes.   
                  
“I can’t even tell you how sorry I am for all the shit I’ve done to you two. I don’t care if you forgive me or not. I just want you to know.”  
                  
Gabriel looked over at Crowley for the first time and really looked at him. He was staring down at his lap, his face pale, tears streaking down his face. He looked…. Different. Defeated.  
                  
“Sam said you went to get help. Integration therapy?”   
                  
Crowley nodded. “He’s gone. It’s just me now.” Crowley let out a small mirthless laugh. “But every part of him is still fucking there. I can see everything he’s- I’ve done with crystal quality, like I had actually had control of him and I was actually doing everything he was. And yet Sam still fucking forgives me for bashing his fucking skull in, and here you are fucking talking to me when I practically did the exact same thing to you. I’m actually hope you won’t forgive me, because I don’t deserve it, and I’m not fucking worth it. And now I scarred poor Cas. And jesus, shut the fuck up!” He said the last part to himself before putting his face in his hands, trying to hide his tears from the angel. He didn’t deserve to feel sad or sorry about what he had done to them. They did.   
                  
Gabriel's mouth was parted in shock. He just stared at the man for a long while.  
                  
“Please say something. Scream at me, hit me, just do something!” Crowley said, muffled because his head was still in his hands.  
               

Gabriel thought for a moment before getting off the bed and sitting next to Crowley. He gently pried a wet hand away from the man’s face and held it in his own. “I forgive you.”  
                  
“Don’t say that,” Crowley said, looking away.   
                  
“Look at me!” Gabriel snapped. Crowley did.  
                  
“I’m choosing to forgive you because I know, deep down in my heart that you never wanted to hurt us. You said it yourself before. You had good intentions. And I believe you still have those now. You wouldn’t have gone and gotten help if you didn’t want to change, but you did. We’re going to have a baby, Crowley.”  
                  
“Oh, god.” Crowley sobbed.  
                  
Gabriel ignored him and continued. “And I can’t fucking do this alone. I believe you’re better. And the best way you can prove it to me is helping me with OUR baby.”  
                  
Crowley nodded. “I can do that. Whatever you want, I’ll do it.”  
                  
Gabriel turned his lips up in a sad smile and placed a chaste kiss to Crowley’s lips. “Okay.”    
               

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> I absolutely LIVE for reviews! 
> 
> Lots of love  
> ~July Falconeri


	18. Family and Forgiveness

“Do you think Cas will talk to me?” Crowley asked tepidly.

Gabriel gave a sad smile. “I can try.”

Gabriel left to get Cas. Crowley was seriously scared for the next talk he was going to have with Gabriel.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Castiel followed timidly behind Gabriel, eyeing Crowley wearily. 

“Come on,” Gabriel coxed quietly. 

“Castiel,” Crowley said softly in clear Enochian. 

Both Gabriel and Castiel looked up at him in disbelief. 

“You can, talk to me?” Castiel asked hopefully.

“A little,” Crowley struggled a bit with the next part. “I learned a little while I was away.” 

“Why did you hurt me?” Castiel asked bluntly.

Crowley looked down at his hands. He understood why and hurt clearly. 

“I’m sorry. No more hurting. I promise.” 

Castiel stepped closer until Crowley could pull the angel into a hug. 

“Promise?” The little angel murmured into his collar bone before planting a small kiss there.

“Promise,” Crowley whispered the next part to quiet for Gabriel to hear. “Only pleasure from now on. I’ll tell Gabriel tonight. Okay?”

“No more secret?” Castiel whispered back just as quietly. 

“No more secret, but later.”

Castiel nodded and cuddled in close to Crowley, hugging him tight.

“Everything okay?” Gabriel asked, a little miffed he couldn’t hear the end of the conversation. Crowley nodded. 

“Everything’s good.”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Meanwhile-

“Where’s Crowley?” Sam muttered sleepily.

“Somewhere.”

“No, dad. Stop,” Sam said as John helped Sam on his bed. 

“You need to rest.”

“No will you listen? He’s better. Really this time he is. Cross my heart.” Sam said before falling back onto the bed, legs hanging off the side. 

“I’ll take that with a grain of salt.” John said, blank faced. 

“It was my idea. He didn’t want to, but I convinced him.”

“Jesus Sam!” John said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “What are you trying to do here? Really, I want to know! Are you trying to get yourself killed? Are you thinking if you hold onto him he’s going to suddenly step up and be a father to Amelia? What is it about him that has you crawl back even after he almost killed him? You remember that? Let me refresh your memory! That first time I saw you in the hospital, I didn’t even recognize you, you were so damn fucked up. And the months of rehab to walk, to learn how to talk again. You can’t even perform surgery anymore because your hands still tremor. What do you see in him Sam?” 

John yelled at Sam. He didn’t understand why he would keep going back to a man who had almost killed him. His strong, smart boy, the one he had seen laying on a hospital bed just a day or so after it all happened, barley even alive. 

Sam’s eyes teared up, making him look to the side in embarrassment. 

“You won’t understand.” 

“Then explain it to me,” John sat next to Sam, feeling bad for his outburst. “Because I’m really trying.”

“When he says he doesn’t want to, I know he means it. You haven’t seen him switch personalities like I have. He gets so angry and sad that he can’t control himself. And when he is himself, he’s perfect. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. He’s sweet and takes care of me and when he’s himself, I’m not scared of him.”

John let out a sigh. “You really love him, don’t you?”

“I wouldn’t be trying to help him and sticking around after all this if I didn’t know his good side. I wouldn’t stay if I didn’t love him.”

“You say he’s ‘better’ now. What about Amelia? Do you trust him around her?” 

Sam sat up, still slightly groggy. “He said he wanted to tell Amelia and step up, let her know him. Did you know he’s never stopped giving me money for her. A thousand dollars a month. Every month. No matter what.”

John shock his head. “I didn’t know that.”

“I know you don’t trust him, and you have good reason not to. But do you trust me to know how to deal with it, if the day ever comes where things go bad again?”

John was silent for a long time. “I don’t trust him, and I’ll never forgive him for what he did to you. But I do trust you to remove yourself from the situation if things do get bad again. And for you, I guess I can try to be more…. Understanding of him.”

“That’s all I want.”

John wrapped his arms around Sam in a tight hug, Sam returning the gesture. 

“Your mom would be proud of you.”

“Thanks, Dad.”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Later that night, Sam and Crowley sat on the love seat together, talking away about whatever and whatnot. The three angels and Amelia where huddled on the floor together watching a Peanuts special on TV that ,which made both Castiel and Amelia quiet happy. Gabriel kept stealing glances at Sam and Crowley as they laughed and smiled at each other. To say Gabriel was jealous and angry was an understatement. Sam was his mate, and Crowley was now the one who, really, controlled his world. It would be a lie to say the passion between the couple didn’t make his feathers bristle.

The expression on Crowley face changed from cozy and uncaring to almost pained. Gabriel listen to the two quietly.

“….I forgot.”

“How could you forget?”

“Well what with going to get treatment it slipped my mind that my bat shit crazy family is coming for thanksgiving. Fuck, I have nothing ready. Jesus this is going to be horrible.”

“Well why don’t I help you, and me, Dean, and Dad could all have dinner with your family.”

“Oh god no. Your dad and Dean hate me enough. I promise you sparks will fly if they meet my family. You remember my parents. I mean, they literally both could have just crawled out from hell together yesterday.”

“I know. They could deal with it for one night.”

Crowley shock his head. “Hell no.”

“Hell yes.”

Crowley opened his mouth to retort but Sam put a finger over his lips. “You know I’m going to do it anyway, right?”

Crowley rolled his eyes. “Yes, you pig headed moose.”

“You know you love it.” And then Sam leaned in and gave him a small peck on the lips and Gabriel thought he might just go ballistic for a second. He tore his eyes away from the two and tears seemed to spring to his eyes without him noticing. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Lucifer asked adjusting his arm around Gabriel.

Gabriel just shook his head and Lucifer seemed to understand. 

“….well if that’s the case,” Crowley stood. “ I need to go shopping.”

“Want me to come?” Sam asked, not moving from his place on the couch.

“No, it’s okay. Gabriel?” Crowley asked. Gabriel turned to look at Crowley. “I have some errands to run, I’d like you to come with me, if you wouldn’t mind?” 

“Sure.”

“I’m going to go out for a little bit with Crowley. Lucifer’s going to stay with you,” Gabriel said to Castiel. Castiel nodded, eyes glued to the T.V.

“Be careful,” Lucifer whispered before Gabriel stood to follow Crowley to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My actual timeline and real life time are starting to fall into alignment, I'm going to try to keep up with it. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Reviews are my life blood! Come on over to the books Tumblr and ask me (or the angels) questions and get exclusive extras and chapter updates. 
> 
> Lots of love  
> ~July Falconeri


	19. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to all from this Pagan heathen. I really hope you enjoy this chapter. Shits about to get ugly. Warnings for violence.

Earlier that day:

Sam ran his hand under Crowley’s shirt, their mouths pressed together in a hard kiss. Sam stopped abruptly when he felt raised, smooth skin on Crowley’s side.

“What?” Crowley asked breathlessly as Sam pulled away. 

Sam lifted Crowley’s shirt only to see an angry, red handprint.

“Who gave that to you?” Sam asked, looking at Crowley with startled eyes.

Crowley sighed and sat back in his seat. “Castiel.”

“When the hell did that happen?” 

“After I called you to come get them the night Gabriel hit his head. I was untying Castiel and he just reached up and I almost passed out. Next thing I knew I had this fucking mating mark on me.”

“Do you know what this means?” Sam hissed. “Castiel is never going to take another mate. Have you told Gabriel yet?”

Crowley looked away. “I haven’t had the chance yet.”

Sam sat in silence for a moment before speaking. “It’s so intense, isn’t it?”

Crowley looked at his questioningly. “How do you know?” 

Sam reached down and pulled the waist of his pants down to reveal a similar mark. 

“When did you get that?”

Sam was quiet. “Gabriel. He marked me that first time in the hospital. The night after…”

“….I got his pregnant.”

Sam nodded. They were both silent for a moment before Crowley straddled Sam’s hips.

“You better fuck me now cause God only knows how many more chances we’re going to get to do this.”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two drove in silence for a long while before Crowley finally cleared his throat to speak. 

“We have to talk about something.”

Gabriel looked at Crowley apprehensively. “About?”

“Castiel.”

“What about him?”

“Something else happened that night before I went to get treatment.”

Gabriel’s eyes squinted as he stared Crowley down. “Crowley, what did you do?” Gabriel asked slowly.

Crowley took in a deep breath before taking one hand off the steering wheel to raise his shirt up. On the side of his stomach was a perfectly red, smooth handprint. A mating mark. Castiel’s mating mark. 

Bile rose in Gabriel’s throat. 

“Pull over.”

“Gabriel, pl-“

“PULL OVER!”

Crowley quickly pulled over onto the shoulder. Gabriel quickly threw the door open and fell to his knees in a snow bank just as the contents of his stomach decided to empty themselves on the side of the road. 

Crowley was quickly around the side of the car, kneeling next to Gabriel. He went to pull the angel’s hair out of his face but Gabriel knocked Crowley’s hand away with a sharp smack. 

“Do not touch me,” Gabriel gasped before heaving again. 

Flickering blue and red lights pulled up behind their car. Great, just what Crowley needed. 

“Everything okay?” Someone asked as a flashlight was shown their way, illuminating the two men on the ground. Crowley cupped a hand over his eyes to shield himself from the light.

Crowley stood. “Just fine. My angel just has some morning sickness.”

Gabriel laughed and slowly stood. “Your angel. That’s all I am to you huh? Me and Cas. We’re your little angel play things to do whatever you want with, right?” Gabriel growled. “Well guess what? Cas? He’s not yours. He never will be. He’s a baby and you fucking put your hands on him and confused him. He thinks what you did to him was love. You’re fucking sick!” Gabriel voice rose in intensity till he was almost shouting. 

“Are you sure?” The officer asked, keeping eyes trained on Gabriel and taking a few steps forward. 

“Positive. He’s just being feisty,” Crowley turned to look at Gabriel while still speaking to the officer. He gave Gabriel a pleading look. “He knows to obey.”

Something snapped in Gabriel. All the abuse of both him and Castiel. The taking away of their free will. The anger, confusion, sadness, fear. It all came bubbling up to the surface in a coil of white hot aggression. Gabriel let out an animalistic growl. His wings furled out with one sudden swoosh, pushing a large blast of cold air out from around him. Gabriel tackled Crowley to the ground, fingers wrapping tight around his throat. He looked down at Crowley struggling beneath him with a dark sense of satisfaction. 

Crowley raked his fingernails down Gabriel’s arms. 

“Gabe!” He managed to gasp out with the last of his air. Crowley reached up and grasped a patch of Gabriel’s feathers before pulling on them as hard as he could. Gabriel felt the pain in his wing and yelped, removing his hands from Crowley’s neck to grasp at the hands pulling his feathers. A sudden pain shot threw Gabriel’s whole body. He went completely rigid and fell to the ground, arms and legs twitching periodically. He thought he heard someone yell stop before the pain subsided and Gabriel lay half on the road, half in a snow bank gasping for breath. 

“I had it under control! He’s fucking pregnant, that’s the only reason I wasn’t using full force on him!” He heard Crowley yelling faintly. 

“It’s policy. We required to use force on any angel that has physically incapacitated their owner or any human.”

“I was not incapacitated. Did you not see me pulling him off me before you pulled the trigger?” 

All of Gabriel’s muscles felt cramped and pained. There was no way he could get up if he tried. He must have been tased. He looked up at the night sky, red and blue lights flashing around him. His wing felt like someone had just pulled out a huge clump of feathers and his hand were going numb from being in direct contact with the snow. 

The next thing Gabriel seen was Crowley hovering above him. “Gabriel!”

Gabriel swallowed, but keep his stony composure. 

Crowley gently slipped his arms under Gabriel’s and helped him sit up. His grace was swirling like crazy in his gut. Something didn’t feel right.

“I can radio an ambulance-“

“No, you’ve done enough, thank you. My friends a Angel MD at the Chicago clinic.”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“They what?!” Sam exclaimed.

“I told him about what happened with Cas and then he got out to throw up. Some idiot cop pulled up behind us and I just said the wrong thing and Gabriel just attacked me. I grabbed him and was pulling him off me and then the fucking idiot just tased him!”

“Calm down. Let me talk to Gabriel.”

Crowley passed the phone to Gabriel and went back to finish business with the police officer. 

“Hello?” Gabriel asked softly, muscles still sore and cramping slightly.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just….really, really sore.” 

“Okay, that’s normal. And another question? Are you an idiot, or do you just have a death wish?”

“He told you, didn’t he? You fucking knew about him and Cas?”

“Gabe, you gotta-“

Gabriel hung up.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Crowley dealt with the cop very quickly as he was apparently well known and threatened to sue. The rest of the drive and shopping trip was made in silence. Gabriel spent most of the trip trying to hide the large half bald patch from where Crowley ripped out some feathers earlier from prying eyes. Crowley did try on the ride back however.

“Gabriel-“

“No.”

“Gabriel, I’m-“

“What about no do you not understand?”

A look of anger crossed Crowley’s face. “No, I hurt you and I’m sorry.” Crowley said with finality. 

“Not like it’s the first time.”

Gabriel seen how the words stung Crowley and he felt bad, but he was so sick about Castiel. He knew it wasn’t Crowley’s fault, and defiantly not Castiel’s fault. Why would anyone allow this to happen? And who should he be mad at? His father? Fate and destiny? And in hindsight, if Crowley really had the best of intentions, for him and his brother, why should it be such a bad thing? 

Deep in Gabriel’s heart he knew why. It was his fear of losing or having Castiel get hurt. He was Gabriel’s son in every aspect of the word. And he cared for Castiel, and would continue to, longer than any human could or would. Thirteen hundred years. He wasn’t so much upset about Castiel having a mate and was actually pleased that Castiel had one. But deep down it was the fear of having to let his baby go that kept him spitting words at Crowley. 

Unfortunately, that revelation didn’t stop his anger from building. He watched Crowley unload the groceries from an armchair in the living room, eyes watching his every move as his anger reached a tipping point.


	20. Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTAINS DUBCON AND SEX!

“What makes you think you can handle Castiel heat? Or be a good mate even?” Gabriel said slowly standing from where he was sitting. 

“What do you mean?” Crowley asked, looking up towards Gabriel.

“Do you know what it’s like, having an angel in heat? It’s at least five days of nonstop fucking. And Castiel’s an omega. Which means you’ll be the one doing the fucking. And he’ll be ravenous, he’ll want it even when you can’t give it anymore. He’ll exhaust you to the point where you can’t take anymore, but you’ll have to.”

Crowley looked a little startled. “Well, I-“

“Exactly.” Gabriel stalked towards the man. “You haven’t even thought about it. And he’s an angel, omegas are weaker and more pliant, but you’ll still come out of it bruised and bleeding. We’re primal creatures, and in heat, we’re insatiable animals.” 

Gabriel backed Crowley against the counter with his body. “And being a mate is forever. He’ll follow you around like a puppy for the rest of his life. And when you die, he’ll be lost. But I’m getting ahead of myself.”

Crowley looked up at Gabriel with wide eyes. “I didn’t want him to. I didn’t even know he was doing it.” Crowley’s words came out breathless, seeming to grasp the magnitude of what Gabriel was telling him. 

“It’s already done. Did you know I’m an Alpha, Crowley? When you did this to me, every fiber in my body was screaming, trying to tell me I should stop this. And I couldn’t do a damn thing. You think you can handle an omega mate? Maybe you should take a test run,” Gabriel growled the last part. “and spend just a few hours with an alpha. If you can’t handle that, you’ll never be able to handle Castiel.”

Crowley’s breathe hitched. He could literally feel the heat and anger rolling off Gabriel in waves of utter discontent. He would be lying if he said he was not intimidated by the angel at that moment. He didn’t know what to say. 

With a swift movement Crowley back hit the kitchen floor and he let out a pained gasp. Gabriel was atop him, quickly pulling his shirt off. Once the garment was off his wings flew out to their full span.

“Touch them and I’ll fucking destroy you,” Gabriel whispered with menace. Crowley couldn’t respond but nod. 

Crowley watched Gabriel undo his jeans and then pull them off with one swift movement. 

Crowley looked up at the angel with a mixture of arousal and fear. This was a side of Gabriel he hadn’t seen, and Gabriel was right, he looked more like an animal than a human at this point. Crowley wrapped an arm around Gabriel’s back and surged up to kiss him. Gabriel pushed him forcefully back to the floor, causing Crowley to bang his head. 

“I’m not here to be your little romantic fuck-buddy. I’ll leave that to Sam.” 

Crowley swallowed and nodded. Gabriel grabbed Crowley’s wrists roughly and held them above his head with a single hand while the other hand quickly worked to remove his own pants and underwear. 

Crowley balked a bit at the sight of Gabriel’s erect member. Of course he had seen it before, but only soft and pliant. And well endowed was a bit of an understatement. Crowley was used to being the bottom, but this was a little more than he expected. 

“Gabriel-“

"Shut up.”

Still holding Crowley’s wrists he used his free hand to remove Crowley’s underwear. Gabriel used his knees to spread Crowley’s legs apart. Crowley gulped. He wasn’t going to prep. He was just going to go for it. 

Then Crowley’s arms were free and Gabriel was gripping his hips. 

“You better hold onto something.” Was the only warning Crowley got before the angel pushed his way inside him. 

Crowley let out a small screech of pain and gripped Gabriel’s shoulders as tight as he could. Gabriel let out a low moan as he continued to sink into the heat of Crowley’s passage. 

Tears spilled down Crowley’s cheeks at the pain. It was sharp and burning, and he was sure the angel was going to tear him up. 

This was how Gabriel felt when Fergus- HE had taken him that night. Had taken all of Gabriel’s power and just did what he’d wanted. Same with Sam. Crowley turned his head to the side, not wanting to look Gabriel in the eyes. 

Gabriel paused when he was fully inside Crowley. Crowley let out a ragged breathe. Gabriel grabbed his hair and forced Crowley to look at him.

Crowley eyes were filled with tears, but Gabriel, he could see pain deep in his. That’s what this was all about. Gabriel was scared of god only knew what. But there was fear and pain, and that’s all Crowley could see. 

He moved a hand off Gabriel’s shoulder and onto the back of his neck. 

“I’m so sorry, Gabriel,” He whispered. It was all he could say. Gabriel looked away. 

With a new determination, Crowley gripped Gabriel’s hips. “Come on.”

Gabriel didn’t need more prompting as he began to thrust into Crowley with a hard, slow rhythm. Every thrust caused pain to move up Crowley’s spine, but he gritted his teeth and took it. 

Gabriel’s face was a painting of bliss and ecstasy. Gabriel put his arms around Crowley’s back and lifted him easily until they were in a vertical position. Gabriel buried his neck into Crowley’s shoulder, nails racking down his back as he picked up the speed of his thrusts. 

Crowley resisted the temptation to grab Gabriel’s wings which were dripping with a clear, thick liquid. 

Gabriel stopped suddenly, and Crowley thought maybe he had finished. Gabriel removed his head from the crook of Crowley’s shoulder, hair and face drenched with sweat. 

“What’s the matter?” Crowley asked tentatively.

Gabriel’s face seemed to show remorse. “This isn’t right.”

Crowley was silent as he watched Gabriel move a hand through his wings, collecting a good amount of the clear liquid on his fingers. He then ran his fingers along the place where their body’s connected and smeared the liquid along his shaft. Then he gave a sudden thrust that caused Crowley to see stars. Deep, hot pleasure replaced the pain and he could feel blood rushing to his cock. 

Crowley let out a shocked noise. 

“Better?” Gabriel asked. Crowley nodded vigorously. Gabriel didn’t really feel like explaining the whole angel anatomy and how wing oil worked at the moment. All Crowley knew was that it brought him to the edge of pleasure in seconds and he didn’t really care why. 

Gabriel picked up the same punishing pace he had earlier, this time each thrust had Crowley gasping with pleasure. Gabriel’s nails rake bloody lines down Crowley’s back as he thrusts harder. 

“Gabriel!” Crowley gasped. 

“Come on,” Gabriel encouraged, thrusting quicker. 

Gabriel could feel his own orgasm building in the pit of his stomach and could only imagine Crowley was feeling the same. Crowley let out a sharp moan as he came, painting their stomachs with come. 

Gabriel adjusted their positions again so he was laying atop Crowley. He quickly lifted Crowley’s left leg so the crook of his knee was resting on Gabriel’s shoulder, allowing Gabriel to thrust deeper. 

Crowley moaned as Gabriel pounded into his sore passage, his body starting to feel oversensitive to the pleasure that kept coming. 

Gabriel’s movements began to stutter . The angel reared his head back and groaned as he came deep in Crowley’s body. 

Crowley nearly screamed as an electric shock ran through his whole body and he came again. His hip burned and there was sudden flash of light across his vision and then nothing.   
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Crowley came to tired and sore. Gabriel was nowhere to be seen. And Crowley was left with a second red handprint on the side of his abs.


	21. Black Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT! Oh my god guys, I am so SORRY! I never intended for this to take over a year to update. I had a really bad year, so this got pushed to the side. This time I'm going to try to be better about updating. Thank you all for your patience. <3

Gabriel sat on the floor, eyes unfocused and glazed over. His hand absently scratched at the injured part of his wing. His mind was blank, and all he felt was an intense itch that he couldn't seem to scratch.  
_________________________________________________________________________

Crowley pulled his pants on slowly. “Gabriel?” He called out.  
  
He searched the bottom floor and then the second. He found Gabriel in the corner of his room. Which was probably the oddest place for him to go, considering what just happened.  
  
He was staring off into the distance and scratching at his injured wing. Blood was matted in his feathers and ran down his fingers and arm. There was a small pile of bloody feathers on the floor.  
  
“Gabriel,” Crowley said quietly, approaching him slowly. “Gabriel, your hurting yourself.”  
  
Crowley crouched down grabbed Gabriel's arm. “Gabe?” Gabriel starred off into the distance, eyes unseeing. Gabriel's arm twitched in Crowley's grip.  
  
“Gabriel, snap out of it!” Crowley said, slapping his cheek gently. Gabriel didn't move.  
  
“Gabriel, you're freaking me the fuck out. Look, we need to talk or something,” Crowley said, snapping his fingers in front of Gabriel's face.  
  
“GABE!” He yelled. No reaction.  
  
“Dammit,” he released Gabriel's hand and he went right back to scratching. Crowley grabbed his cellphone out of his pocket. The clock read 1:24 am. Crowley cursed and looked up in disdain at the ceiling before looking over at Gabriel cursing again and calling Sam.  
  
The phone rang twice before Crowley heard a sleepy, “Hello?”  
  
“Sam, I need you to get here now. Somethings up with Gabriel, we're up in my bedroom, doors unlocked. Get here quick.” and hung up.  
He quickly went back over to Gabriel and grabbed his bloody hand, keeping him from doing more damage. Waiting for Sam seemed like forever, but it was more like two minutes.  
  
Sam knelt down beside Crowley. “What happened?  
  
“We uh....I, I mean...” Crowley trailed off.  
  
“Crowley, focus! This is not something that happens randomly. This only happens to angels when they're in a deep state of desperation, his grace is literally in a state of shock. You need to tell me what happened, now!”  
  
“We...we had sex. And I passed out and woke up with this,” Crowley pulled his shirt up to show Sam the still inflamed hand print. “And then I found him up here and called you.”  
  
Sam looked at Crowley in awe. “Holy shit.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“This is a double mating. They're incredibly rare. Hardly documented at all. It only happens when....” Sam paused. “Holy shit.  
”  
“What?!” Crowley asked asked impatiently.  
  
“This only happens when an angel's mate has already found his soul mate. Usually angel's mates don't have human soulmates. But in the rare case they do, he usually mates both because they'll never be complete without both.”  
  
Crowley took a second to absorb all the information. “So....you're saying that you and I....are soulmates?”  
  
“Yeah....yeah. I guess so.” Sam gently took Gabriel's bloody hand from Crowley. He felt Gabriel's hand twitch violently in his.  
  
“So, he's shocked from the mating?” Crowley asked quietly.  
  
“No, I don't think so. I think it's because Cas mated you. A double mating isn't just rare for angels to have. It's rare for humans too. The fact that you're a mate to two angels, two angels who are bonded like that. I've never heard of anything like that. I think when Gabe mated you, his brain went on overdrive. I think he's literally so desperate to keep Cas happy and safe that this has literally effected his grace. He thinks Cas is going to hate him. Angel's are super protective over their mates. Cas is going to want you all to himself. I think Gabriel is mature enough to handle that aspect, but Cas is still young and immature, he's probably not going to take it well.”  
  
“If that's the case, why hasn't Cas mated you?”

 Sam shrugged. “Like I said, it's rare. Even though you and me might be connected, he doesn't necessarily have that same attachment with me. It's a complicated situation.”  
  
“So how do we knock him out of this...whatever this is?”  
  
“We've gotta shock his body back into a state of consciousness.”  
  
Sam looked around quickly for a second before taking a deep breathe and closing his eyes. “Okay,” he said calmly, pulling himself together. “Go fill up the bathtub with the coldest water you can get, that might shock him out of it.”

Crowley nodded and quickly disappeared into the bathroom. The sound of running water hit Sam's ears a few moments later.

“Alright, come on Gabriel. I need you to come back for me,” Sam said softly as he held Gabriel's bloody hands in his. “We're gonna get you out of this and we're gonna work everything out. I promise.”  
  
Sam sat for a while just holding Gabe's hands as Crowley filled the bath tub. Crowley came out a few minutes later and knelt back down next to the pair.  
  
“Okay, everything's set up.”  
  
“Grab his left side.” Sam said gently draping Gabriel's right arm across his shoulder. Crowley did the same and they slowly lifted Gabriel to his feet, his wings dragging across the ground behind him.  
  
They slowly switched positions when they got to the bathroom. Crowley put his arms behind Gabriel's knees and Sam put his arms under Gabriel's arms.  
  
Sam talked softly. “Okay on three. One...two...three.”  
  
The two men slowly lowered the angel into the freezing water. Sam knelt next to the tub arms around Gabriel's chest to keep the angel from slipping into the tub, while Crowley sat on the edge watching apprehensively.  
  
It took less then ten seconds for Gabriel's eyes to clear and widen, suddenly gasping at the cold water as he came back to consciousness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and waiting for this.  
> Reviews are my life.  
> Lots of love  
> ~July Falconeri


	22. Freeze and Thaw

Gabriel shot out of the cold water with a gasp, wings and arms flailing wildly. 

“Woah, woah! Hey!” Sam gently grabs his arm as Gabriel whips around wildly to look at him. Crowley gently touches the joints of his wings, gently folding them against his back. 

Gabriel looked around, wide eyed and shivering. “What happened, where am I?!” 

“Shh, you're okay.” Sam took the towel that Crowley offered him, slowly helping the angel from the tub and wrapping the towel around him. 

Gabriel fell into a heap on the floor, wings arching over himself, cocooning him in feathers. “What is going on!?” 

Crowley knelt next to him, slowly running his fingers through the uninjured parts of his wings. “You were in shock. We had to pull you out of it.”

All the memories suddenly came flooding back. Crowley, the kitchen floor, the marking. Gabriel burst into tears, pulling his wings tightly around him. A new pain in his wing finally registers and he whimpered softly between sobs. He pulled the wing in front of him, looking at the bloody clump of feathers and scratch marks.

“Here, let me help,” Sam said reaching out.

“NO!” Gabriel got up, holding the towel around him, before quickly moving past the two men and shutting the door to his room and crawling into his bed. 

Crowley moved to follow him, Sam quickly grabbing his wrist and shaking his head. 

“Give him some time.”  
_________________________________________________________________________

Gabriel curled in on himself, adjusting his blankets and pillows to create a plush protection around himself before inspecting the injured wing. He began to slowly comb his fingers through the bloody feathers, licking at the claw marks, soothing the pain. He started to slowly pull out loose bloody feathers, hissing quietly in pain as he did so. 

By the time he was finished there was a small pile of bloody feathers and a bald spot on his wing. Gabriel inspected the rest of the massive appendage, looking at the cut feathers, seeing that they had almost completely grown back out. He rolls over slowly, finally inspecting the place where the taser hit him. Half chard feathers and dried blood matted a few. He gently combed through them and and pulled out the loose feathers before slowly running his tongue over the burned flesh for a long while. 

There was a soft knock at the door and Gabriel looked up as Sam came in, holding some things in his hand.

“Hey, you want some help with those?” Sam asked, pointing at Gabriel's wings. Gabriel nodded reluctantly as Sam sat at the edge of the high walled bed. “Do you mind?” 

Gabriel moved back allowing Sam to sit in his nest. “Check the baby?”

Sam nodded, grabbing his stethoscope and placing it in his ears, warming the bell against his hand. He gently placed the bell against Gabriel's now clearly pregnant stomach, listening and moving the bell around at times before removing the piece from his ears. “Nice and strong.”

Gabriel nodded lying back. “This is too much stress. I can't do this to the baby, I don't have enough Grace. I'm too weak.” Tears slowly ran down his face. “Somethings wrong. I can tell. Something's not right.” 

Sam pauses. “What do you mean?”

Gabriel places a hand on his stomach. “I don't know. I just have a feeling.”

Sam contemplates it for a second, knowing better then to just brush away an angel's natural instinct of, well, just knowing. 

“Could it be just the stress? After everything that happened with Crowley?”

Nods. “Maybe. I don't know. It just... it doesn't feel like that. It feels different.” 

Sam bites his lip. “I'd take an ultrasound, but you're grace blocks out the images.” 

Gabriel nods. “So I just have to wait?”

“Yeah. You've got about a month left. Hopefully, everything's okay. But, I've worked with pregnant angels a lot because of Dean. He works specifically in prenatal care and pediatrics. And normally when they say something doesn't feel right, they're usually not wrong.” Sam gently runs a hand over Gabriel's stomach, as if by sheer will he could heal the baby. 

Gabriel places his hand over Sam's tears flowing freely. “He's...he's alive. But he's weak, maybe in pain. And after everything that's happened, I don't think I'm wrong. I just hope he'll survive. And maybe it's not so bad that he can't be fixed and be healthy. Hopefully.” 

“We'll be there, me and Dean, Cas, Lucifer, Crowley. We're gonna be here to help. Dean will help with the birth, and if anything goes wrong, we'll do our best. That I can promise you.”

Gabriel lets out a small sob and nods, gripping Sam hand hard. The baby kicks softly, right below where their hands are connected.

Sam looks up with a small smile. “Think someone's trying to tell you something.” 

Gabriel wipes at his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah.”

“I think, for the rest of this pregnancy, we should have you restricted. Bed rest, as much as you can. No physical activity besides a little walking when you need to. We'll get you on some medication that'll help. We''ll make sure this baby has the best chance possible, okay?” 

“Thank you Sam,” he mutters quietly. “Cas is okay?”

Smiles. “Good. He fell asleep with Lucifer a little after you and Crowley left. He was asking for you before he went to bed. Lucifer...It's like a complete one eighty. When it first happened..with Michael... we couldn't even keep him conscious. He was so broken. And it's like you and Cas brought him back.”

Cas turns his head away, eyes distant. “Michael.... he would be so disappointed.”

“Lucifer says otherwise. I've heard him tell you how happy he would be.”

“Wish I could have said goodbye. They raised me, and they helped me so much when I first got Cas. I've only ever wanted what's best for Cas. And now I've fucked it up.”

Sam lays down beside him, gently resting a hand on his cheek, knowing how much a mate's touch can effect an angel's grace. “Listen. You did not fuck it up. I don't know how he'll react, it might be bad for a while. But I do know he loves and depends on you too much for it to last long. He'll learn to how to behave with a mate, he'll learn to not be jealous. And you'll be the one to help him. I can guarantee that.” 

Gabriel tucks his head under Sam's chin, nuzzling into his chest and closing his eyes. “I'm so tired. From being afraid, from all of this. I'm just tired.”

Sam runs a hand through his hair. “Sleep, rest, I'll be here when you wake up, and we'll work things out in the morning. Just for tonight, let me take care of you.”

Gabriel's barely able to nod before falling asleep to the feel of Sam's steady heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope to be kicking chapters out faster now! Stuffs about to get goood. ;) 
> 
> Reviews are life!  
> Lots of love  
> ~July Falconeri


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